1. I work harder when alone and in motion
2. I don't know my workmates as much as I should like, and I should respect them more
3. All I want is ...... .......
4. I need to learn how to drive
5. I really like my new underwear
We're at the 15 rest stop now.
For those who want more...
After 'Tuesday: GoGo to Los Angeles', Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were full of great meetings with great people, some who I am thoroughly impressed with.
Saturday and Sunday mainly consisted of me feeling exhausted and getting my room in order.
Especially on Sunday, where I went to the Hardware Store 4 times to get the right materials to glue a handle on my closet door and hang my curtains, so I didn't have to feel like a contestant on Big Brother. I thoroughly enjoyed being a homemaker.
This last week was a blur full of frustration as I simply could not get to anything on time, sleep overtook me and conquered me once again. On Thursday the first words out of my mouth, when I realized I had woken up late were, "What is wrong with me!?"
Could it have been that I had watched too much Young Hercules, is it my consistent 2am bedtime? Probably. I just wish I could use the time I had properly and then I wouldn't feel like I had to stay up so late to get everything done.
Things just get so stagnant at the office and I hardly ever find my mind working properly for a full day in the office. I work better from 5pm to 10pm. I can say this because I've been on a bus that long and I've been working consistently throughout, apart from that Blogpost that is.
I will one day have to do something amazing enough that I can run things the way I want, because unless I'm in Los Angeles and being told where to go and when to show up, I'm a hopeless mess.
Great outlook though.
I do know that in 2009 there will be some major changes and people will just have to deal with that. I just need...
Thanks for chatting with me at my 'live show' - you are great
Cheers
xox Caitlin
Monday 22 December 2008
Friday 12 December 2008
Tuesday: GoGo to Los Angeles
Thank you so much for all your wonderful and supportive comments, I replied to them all here.
I do hope that you know how I am so impressed by all of you. You're all amazing and truly kind and decent people, and you make me feel (even with all the random flukes and luck that is thrown at me) truly lucky, and incredibly grateful.
I'm not sure this post will be as interesting as last, but I'm trying to see whether I can truly record everything. Life isn't always an interesting blog post, but hopefully you may tune in from time to time to catch up.
Thanks,
Love Caitlin.
***
I had spent most of the night, after the awards ceremony, packing my battered red bag, which I bought with Ben once in San Francisco at Ross - good times, so when my Ikea Alarm Clock started clanging in it's 'I look like an old fashioned clock, but I'm actually brand new, so I'm hip and secretly pathetic, Fight Club' style, it didn't take me long to shake off the little sleep I dived into and prepare for the "Great Journey To The West!"
I wore a long white-sleeved shirt that had been given to me the night before by a lady I have never met. She was a resident artist at the National Arts Club, and she couldn't make the presentation because she was to be in Cambodia at the time, so she sent me the shirt and the sweetest card. It made me feel very special, and the shirt was very beautiful (the word Hope was hand painted in Cambodian).
As I proudly rolled my bag (I had finally packed my bag appropriately!) to the elevator and then out to the street, I was relieved to see that my driver hadn't rushed off without me, he did, however, talk a lot, and he had opinions about everything.
"Don't trust these show business people, they are only ever after one thing, you know? You should find yourself someone who works, you know? A banker, or a lawyer, or, you know, any kind of work, you know? If they are 40 years old (I realized he was probably 40 years old or so), that is better for you, then a 20 year old, you know? They have lived and worked hard..."
I nodded and agreed with him, but I could not wait to get out of the car and escape his long speeches. At some points, he became quite taken with his views against my life and his voice rose to the point of almost yelling. I could imagine him being quite violent at home, or at least very demanding and full of expectations. I felt that the car was Cuba and my driver was Castro. "Why won't you die!?!?"
I still tipped him very well, "Thank you very much, miss, I appreciate it," and happily walked up to the Self-Service stations at the American Airlines section of JFK.
I like American Airlines because they are a part of the One World program, and my silly life has moved my Bronze Qantas Card membership up to a Gold Card and no matter what class I am in, if I get Priority Access, I always feel a little thrill of happiness. I like to appreciate these things, I hope I never forget to appreciate them.
My colleague, who would be traveling with me, wanted to be put on the waiting list for Business Class, but the Self-Service Station could only handle so much confusion, and eventually a lady led me to the Business Class check-in. The lady behind the desk told me the plane was full, it didn't bother me, and then I waited in the makeshift "lobby" for my colleague to arrive and check in.
He was impressed that I was actually on time, and I have to admit, so was I. I have now been through enough close calls and missed planes to arrive at the right time.
We passed easily through Security. I gave the back-of-a-fellow-passengers head the Evil Eye after she pushed my bag along the conveyor belt. I don't actually mind that she touched my stuff, she was just being helpful, but sometimes it's fun to smirk at the fact that I even bothered to move my facial muscles when nobody saw it. I think I like it, because it's totally private. Very rarely does anyone notice. I like that. I like being anonymous.
I bought 2 greasy salted pretzels before I got on the plane, they were very good, but afterward they made me feel awful. I think I must find out exactly what products my body cannot manage, because it gave me the worst stomach ache on the plane. Then again, I really shouldn't be totally surprised that pretzels were a bad choice for breakfast.
The annoying thing about planes though, is that no matter what I eat or don't eat, my stomach always ends up becoming bloated and sore. It makes me wonder if it just can't handle the change in altitude.
Does anyone else suffer from this? It's very annoying.
That's why I would prefer to always journey by car. Sure, I can't drive and the wrong type of car can be particularly bad for the environment, but I want to see what I travel past, I don't want to look over head and squint. It is beautiful though, and the closer you get to the West and its Mountain Ranges, the easier it is to understand how the Tectonic plates work (even though most were most likely exit points for hot lava). The mountains look like cracks in mud that has dried in the sun, and you can easily see how the world will develop from high up. I'm sure it's a marvelous sight from space.
I hadn't let myself look out the window from a plane across America for a long time, because I spent a great deal of time looking outside my window when I first started traveling, and I found the surface of America very dull and dry and baron. Now, after losing my ignorance, I thoroughly enjoy watching the plains pass by. Speaking of Homophones, I saw a small red plane zoom past us as we were traveling. Sure, it's a common sight, but it excited me and made me think of that awesome picture that is often forwarded through email of the Boeing 747 getting ready to crash into a passengers window.
Ahem, planes crashing isn't funny.
The only good thing about American Airlines is the fact that they have GoGo on their plane. I was able to reply emails and watch some videos from 40,000 feet in the air, and that made me happy. I remember reading an article in Times about their development, and to actually see it come into fruition made me happy with the world, especially the good people in the Technology part of it.
Finally, a new thing that one day we'll wonder how we ever lived out. The world's a-changing. Change is a sweet sadness.
We finally arrived in sunny Los Angeles at 1pm, my colleague got a rental car and we began the fairly familiar journey to The Standard.
For the first time, in a long time, I was actually happy to be in Los Angeles. Not only was it warm, but my attitude had changed about it. For the last year or so, I was living with this big chip on my shoulder about how Evil Los Angeles is, and I am not exactly wrong, Los Angeles contains a lot of Evil, but I finally worked out how to work it. Some people think that you have to change who you are when you live in Los Angeles, that's easy, but not true, what's hard is to understand how it works and to resist resisting, and simply be yourself, but Hollywood style. Everyone loves someone who is unique and refreshing, but they also don't mind if it happens to be packaged easily too. I realized the game they play a few weeks ago, and I felt fully prepared to embrace it and enjoy it.
I took a lot of photos of simple things that intrigued me from the car, and after I had been adamant that the only suitable thing to do would be to drive straight to an In-N-Out Burger and taste sweet West Coast goodness, we went to The Grove (yay, Steve Grove shout-out right here, that will never get old for me) and I had a good long phone call with Brooke, she is a strong young lady, outside of the Apple store, we went to Kiehl's and I picked up some good quality luxuries for a fairly decent price.
I then dragged my unwilling colleague into a Kmart to buy my favourite line of foundation, Maybelline New York, (if I was going to play the game, I needed the right materials) and got very annoyed at him when we returned to the car to see the windows wide open. Brooke had recently been robbed and as much as I like to trust the good nature of people, I do not want to test it. That, to me, is just common sense.
We finally checked in to The Standard, and after a few awkward moments (caused by...ahem, that guy) with the man at the front desk, I decided to smile a lot and he checked me in first.
It's hard to describe exactly how I felt when I checked into my room. Though I am appalled that the rooms cost so much, the familiar lay out and the sweet decor of the room warmed my heart, because for a second, I felt home. I quickly regained consciousness and realized the silliness of the setting. I should be anywhere but here, but it would only be for four days, I could allow myself a relapse into my old ways for that, and plus, it wasn't on me. I'd be broke. Again.
I settled in for the night, working out (for the first time in probably 3 months) and watching videos at the same time, and slowly fulfilled my duties and sunk into the big, cold bed.
Hello, Los Angeles. It's me, Caitlin.
- The Long-Winded Typer and The Apologies for a Pointless Blog
I do hope that you know how I am so impressed by all of you. You're all amazing and truly kind and decent people, and you make me feel (even with all the random flukes and luck that is thrown at me) truly lucky, and incredibly grateful.
I'm not sure this post will be as interesting as last, but I'm trying to see whether I can truly record everything. Life isn't always an interesting blog post, but hopefully you may tune in from time to time to catch up.
Thanks,
Love Caitlin.
***
I had spent most of the night, after the awards ceremony, packing my battered red bag, which I bought with Ben once in San Francisco at Ross - good times, so when my Ikea Alarm Clock started clanging in it's 'I look like an old fashioned clock, but I'm actually brand new, so I'm hip and secretly pathetic, Fight Club' style, it didn't take me long to shake off the little sleep I dived into and prepare for the "Great Journey To The West!"
I wore a long white-sleeved shirt that had been given to me the night before by a lady I have never met. She was a resident artist at the National Arts Club, and she couldn't make the presentation because she was to be in Cambodia at the time, so she sent me the shirt and the sweetest card. It made me feel very special, and the shirt was very beautiful (the word Hope was hand painted in Cambodian).
As I proudly rolled my bag (I had finally packed my bag appropriately!) to the elevator and then out to the street, I was relieved to see that my driver hadn't rushed off without me, he did, however, talk a lot, and he had opinions about everything.
"Don't trust these show business people, they are only ever after one thing, you know? You should find yourself someone who works, you know? A banker, or a lawyer, or, you know, any kind of work, you know? If they are 40 years old (I realized he was probably 40 years old or so), that is better for you, then a 20 year old, you know? They have lived and worked hard..."
I nodded and agreed with him, but I could not wait to get out of the car and escape his long speeches. At some points, he became quite taken with his views against my life and his voice rose to the point of almost yelling. I could imagine him being quite violent at home, or at least very demanding and full of expectations. I felt that the car was Cuba and my driver was Castro. "Why won't you die!?!?"
I still tipped him very well, "Thank you very much, miss, I appreciate it," and happily walked up to the Self-Service stations at the American Airlines section of JFK.
I like American Airlines because they are a part of the One World program, and my silly life has moved my Bronze Qantas Card membership up to a Gold Card and no matter what class I am in, if I get Priority Access, I always feel a little thrill of happiness. I like to appreciate these things, I hope I never forget to appreciate them.
My colleague, who would be traveling with me, wanted to be put on the waiting list for Business Class, but the Self-Service Station could only handle so much confusion, and eventually a lady led me to the Business Class check-in. The lady behind the desk told me the plane was full, it didn't bother me, and then I waited in the makeshift "lobby" for my colleague to arrive and check in.
He was impressed that I was actually on time, and I have to admit, so was I. I have now been through enough close calls and missed planes to arrive at the right time.
We passed easily through Security. I gave the back-of-a-fellow-passengers head the Evil Eye after she pushed my bag along the conveyor belt. I don't actually mind that she touched my stuff, she was just being helpful, but sometimes it's fun to smirk at the fact that I even bothered to move my facial muscles when nobody saw it. I think I like it, because it's totally private. Very rarely does anyone notice. I like that. I like being anonymous.
I bought 2 greasy salted pretzels before I got on the plane, they were very good, but afterward they made me feel awful. I think I must find out exactly what products my body cannot manage, because it gave me the worst stomach ache on the plane. Then again, I really shouldn't be totally surprised that pretzels were a bad choice for breakfast.
The annoying thing about planes though, is that no matter what I eat or don't eat, my stomach always ends up becoming bloated and sore. It makes me wonder if it just can't handle the change in altitude.
Does anyone else suffer from this? It's very annoying.
That's why I would prefer to always journey by car. Sure, I can't drive and the wrong type of car can be particularly bad for the environment, but I want to see what I travel past, I don't want to look over head and squint. It is beautiful though, and the closer you get to the West and its Mountain Ranges, the easier it is to understand how the Tectonic plates work (even though most were most likely exit points for hot lava). The mountains look like cracks in mud that has dried in the sun, and you can easily see how the world will develop from high up. I'm sure it's a marvelous sight from space.
I hadn't let myself look out the window from a plane across America for a long time, because I spent a great deal of time looking outside my window when I first started traveling, and I found the surface of America very dull and dry and baron. Now, after losing my ignorance, I thoroughly enjoy watching the plains pass by. Speaking of Homophones, I saw a small red plane zoom past us as we were traveling. Sure, it's a common sight, but it excited me and made me think of that awesome picture that is often forwarded through email of the Boeing 747 getting ready to crash into a passengers window.
Ahem, planes crashing isn't funny.
The only good thing about American Airlines is the fact that they have GoGo on their plane. I was able to reply emails and watch some videos from 40,000 feet in the air, and that made me happy. I remember reading an article in Times about their development, and to actually see it come into fruition made me happy with the world, especially the good people in the Technology part of it.
Finally, a new thing that one day we'll wonder how we ever lived out. The world's a-changing. Change is a sweet sadness.
We finally arrived in sunny Los Angeles at 1pm, my colleague got a rental car and we began the fairly familiar journey to The Standard.
For the first time, in a long time, I was actually happy to be in Los Angeles. Not only was it warm, but my attitude had changed about it. For the last year or so, I was living with this big chip on my shoulder about how Evil Los Angeles is, and I am not exactly wrong, Los Angeles contains a lot of Evil, but I finally worked out how to work it. Some people think that you have to change who you are when you live in Los Angeles, that's easy, but not true, what's hard is to understand how it works and to resist resisting, and simply be yourself, but Hollywood style. Everyone loves someone who is unique and refreshing, but they also don't mind if it happens to be packaged easily too. I realized the game they play a few weeks ago, and I felt fully prepared to embrace it and enjoy it.
I took a lot of photos of simple things that intrigued me from the car, and after I had been adamant that the only suitable thing to do would be to drive straight to an In-N-Out Burger and taste sweet West Coast goodness, we went to The Grove (yay, Steve Grove shout-out right here, that will never get old for me) and I had a good long phone call with Brooke, she is a strong young lady, outside of the Apple store, we went to Kiehl's and I picked up some good quality luxuries for a fairly decent price.
I then dragged my unwilling colleague into a Kmart to buy my favourite line of foundation, Maybelline New York, (if I was going to play the game, I needed the right materials) and got very annoyed at him when we returned to the car to see the windows wide open. Brooke had recently been robbed and as much as I like to trust the good nature of people, I do not want to test it. That, to me, is just common sense.
We finally checked in to The Standard, and after a few awkward moments (caused by...ahem, that guy) with the man at the front desk, I decided to smile a lot and he checked me in first.
It's hard to describe exactly how I felt when I checked into my room. Though I am appalled that the rooms cost so much, the familiar lay out and the sweet decor of the room warmed my heart, because for a second, I felt home. I quickly regained consciousness and realized the silliness of the setting. I should be anywhere but here, but it would only be for four days, I could allow myself a relapse into my old ways for that, and plus, it wasn't on me. I'd be broke. Again.
I settled in for the night, working out (for the first time in probably 3 months) and watching videos at the same time, and slowly fulfilled my duties and sunk into the big, cold bed.
Hello, Los Angeles. It's me, Caitlin.
- The Long-Winded Typer and The Apologies for a Pointless Blog
Thursday 11 December 2008
Monday: The National Arts Club
On Monday I did not want to wake up. I was filled with dread. Only the worst could come out of this day, I just knew it.
I buried my head in my pillow, and wondered why I thought shutting my eyes to the world was going to solve any of my problems.
Eventually, when it was almost to late to do anything, I got up, showered and braved the icy cold of the early day.
I walked South to Economy Candy and stood in wonder for a moment as I gazed at their wall-to-wall shop fall of delightful cavity inducing wonders.
I wanted to try everything and nothing all at the same time. Candy is good, but sometimes it just leaves you feeling like a cheap date; empty and a little bit worthless.
I called my colleague and asked her how many Candied Stars we wanted for tonight's dreaded event. She told me 5 pounds for each. I told the lady. And moments later I was hailing a cab with a large shopping bag filled with blue and white candied stars...and a ready-made Smore (do you add the 'S' for singular use?) for me. I needed some kind nutrition for breakfast.
On the way to the office I was told I would not have to go to meeting at 11am and my mood lightened a great deal. I dropped the Candied Stars off to the Marketing Lady, tasted one: bad, and then proceeded to watch 'My Super Sweet 16' in the reception office with the awesome receptionist and my extremely messy Smore. 30 seconds really is too much.
Once I had wiped all the chocolate off my face, I then thought that I might need new shoes for the event and went to the horribly organized shoe store on the corner of 14th Street and Broadway. I walked away with nothing but a request for my phone number from a man from the Caribbean who liked Cricket.
I told him I was taken. I had enough Cricket in my life to last me forever.
I had to run to the Salon to get my hair done for the event at 6:30pm. I was nervous because I felt like I was running out of time. That my life was, again, just an hourglass ("...so are the days of our lives"). I felt like I was completely out of control, that time was just steering me to my impending doom.
I then encountered one of those, "New York Hates Me" moments when there is not a cab available anywhere. I was going to be late. So late. Half an hour late. I walked all the way up to 19th Street before I saw one glowing its golden light just for me.
The Salon experience, was long but pleasant. I always find it interesting to be asked, "What would you like to drink" and then to never receive it. It had happened twice at the Salon already (my hair was a mess) and I had decided to just decline whenever it was asked.
Then tea came, and I bit my lip and drank.
I am now very happy with my hair. It's finally similar to my natural shade, but with a little bit more of a dark edge, and it was painless and quick and the man blow drying my hair, did so with such love that I kept patting my hair, as if to make sure it was truly connected to my messy head.
Because I had arrived at 1:30pm and it was now close to 5, it was suggested that I just get my makeup done at the Salon. I agreed because, 1: if I was going to be slaughtered, I might as well look good doing it and 2: It was not exactly my money, so...wait, hold on...uh, it was for the good of the company. Yeah. That's it.
The lady did an amazing job, and when I looked in the mirror I flashed back to when I was 14 and getting my Head Shots done for my new interest in pursuing an acting career (resulting mainly from winning 'The Adjudicators Award' (and getting the Head Shot course for free as a result) from the Australian Acting Academy. I had just been airbrushed and I turned around to the mirror and I couldn't find myself. All I could see was this strangely shaped blonde girl moving exactly the way I did. I quickly looked into the mirror and for the first time realized the wonders of makeup. I became something...well, beautiful (in magazine standards). And as a 14 year old, already full of hormones and that irritating air of desperately wanting to be an Adult, I was quite excited.
The photos were never used. The prints were a waste of money. Though pretty to look at, yes, casting directors don't want to look at airbrushed people because airbrushed people can never be ever-airbrushed (unless your Christina Aguilera). So that was silly.
I wasn't airbrushed, but she had done something to my eyelids that made my eyes pop...and then, suddenly I was rushing from the second floor of the shiny Plaza Hotel, past the portrait of Eloise, through the gorgeously decorated lobby that always makes me feel like someone special, and into a taxi.
My mother called me as the taxi whisked it's way to the East Side, and I panicked to her about how it was 5:30. By the time, I get home it will be 10 to 6, and the car is meant to be picking me up at 6. And I still was not exactly sure on what I was to wear. I told her how I was nervous because I still hadn't made any notes for the speech I was meant to give. I knew what I wanted to say, but I knew notes were good to keep the mind on one track and that I was facing the risk of having a 'blank' and forgetting what I wanted to say. She calmed me down and wished me luck.
I didn't have my keys, so Sarah came down and let me in and I ran upstairs and started to get ready. I threw on the dress I wore to the Oscars Viewing Party that I bought especially for the event, and the sparkly shoes I bought next door, also especially for the event, and added tights and a scarf. Tights because it was cold and the scarf because I don't have the right bra for the dress and would be, hanging loose. As loose as a small B cup can get.
The driver, that was organized to take me to the event, called a few times. First letting me know he was here, and secondly asking me if I was coming. I'm used to drivers simply waiting. And he was early anyway. Jake said he was told to be there at 6.15.
I shouldn't have been so surprised when I called him (after it had taken me 3 tries to actually leave the apartment without forgetting anything) that he had left because, "I couldn't wait that long." I was 3 minutes early. "Call the car company, get another car."
I called out an expletive as I hung up the phone and walked to the corner. As I was walking the car company called me, "Only 21 dollar". I hung up the phone. I didn't have the time to wait for a driver to arrive to take me to an event that a Yellow Cab could get me to in less than 10 mins and for about 6 dollars.
Unfortunately, something as silly as a driver not being there waiting for me (who really needs a personal driver, anyway?) got to me, as the melodramatic, princess version of Caitlin started to take over. The side of Caitlin wanted the car. She didn't want to be standing in the East Village made up far too preciously for the neighbourhood, and in the freezing night.
The normal Caitlin, the one typing this, just wanted to text Fox Lampert. I missed him terribly and wanted him to be with me as I faced the scary event. I read his supportive, proud texts in the taxi as reggae music blasted around me, and could barely see his lovely words through my bleary eyes. I leaned my head back and blinked furiously, I didn't want to look like I had been crying, but two long slow tears escaped from both eyes and trickled down. That was all that was needed to come out. After that, I sucked it up and prepared for business.
I got out of the cab and walked around Gramercy Park to where the event would be taking place that night, the National Arts Club, which resides in a beautiful old house that has hosted many a true artists and real celebrities party and also had a great history of being the first club to allow women as members.
As I stepped through the doors into the warmer marble entry hall, the man asked me, "Are you here for Caitlin Hill?" I smiled and nodded and he showed me the coat room.
Yes, I was here for Caitlin Hill. That's right. That's me. I still felt like a fool, but my confidence was coming back. This was an honor, treat it like so, imagine how you'll feel when it's over, be grateful, stand up straight.
When I came back to the hall, the man asked me, "Are you tonight's Honoree? Caitlin Hill?" I nodded gratefully and he said, "I thought so," and pointed me up the stairs.
I shook hands with the man organizing the event and thanked him for his hard work.
David and Jake were already there, and I felt an enormous wave of relief wash over me as I walked to stand next to them. They felt like my rocks. If I stood next to them, and just talked about whatever, everything would be fine. They both looked great in their suits, and they were nice about my "costume" too. We stood close to the doorway, that leads towards the sitting rooms and the bar, for a while, greeting people as they entered and talking about nothing in particular.
After I had greeted a few people, I realized that the anxiety had made my mouth very dry, so I ordered a coke. "You're here for Caitlin Hill, right?" I smiled and nodded again. I liked the anonymity, and watched him as he signed off some sort of check list that would measure the budget of the party.
It was great talking with Cousin Brucie, who would be speaking later. I had realized I knew a legend a few months ago after I heard his voice on Across The Universe.
There were a great deal of wonderful people there, Walter, Catherine, the investors, Billy, Grace, Reese Schonfeld (another hero in media; the creator (with Ted Turner) of CNN and founder the Food Network) a whole bunch of other people that deserved more of my whole attention and fascination, and the wonderful man that is Aldon James, president of the club. He is possibly one of the most delightful people I have ever met. He is all at once, wise, honest and extremely funny and I have a great deal of respect for him. I told him I would help him learn how to use a computer.
Sarah came too, and it was so lovely of her to take the time out of her hectic schedule to support me. She is a lovely girl, and she looked gorgeous too.
I was quite excited to talk to Grace though, because she is training people, and I have reached a stage where if I don't start doing excercize, my thighs and hips are only going to continue to get bigger. I have lost most of the weight I gained from my first 6 months in America. I am feeling much better about myself now, but I believe Grace has what it takes to bring me back into an enthusiastic routine of excercizing.
Ricky Butler was also there. I was surprised to see him because I did not expect for him to come. But he is a new member now, so I guess it was fairly easy. Still, I was happy to see him as he's a good guy and we hadn't spoken in ages.
Suddenly a bell began to clang and after quickly exchanging introductions with an Australian reporter for a New York publication, we all rushed inside where a salad was already waiting for us.
I couldn't decide whether I was happy the food came out first or not. On one hand it pleased me because now I had more time to settle in and relax, and on the other time, it would have been nice to get 'The Scary' over with and enjoy the Lamb Chops I had requested be served as the main course for everyone.
I didn't eat very much, because I was on my best behaviour and mostly talked to Aldon about all kinds of things. He is a very busy man, balancing his evening between two receptions and searching for special things in the great big house while coming back to each course.
Eventually the lamb and dessert had been cleared away, and the Misters began to make their speeches all about little ol' me and what I have done.
I was extremely grateful for the kind words they showered on me. If I truly believed I had earned those words, I would have been very excited, but I couldn't help but feel pangs of guilt as I thought of all the people that have helped me and put up with my bad manners, lateness, laziness and depression.
Nalts made a terrific speech (when he sat down he said, "and now I can get hammered!" - I love him!), he was just brilliant, as was Reese, Allan Shaw, Cousin Brucie, Walter and Aldon, the nerves started to grow as I realized that maybe winging the speech wasn't such a great idea after all.
When Aldon presented me with the Medal of Honor for a Lifetime Acheivement in The Arts, I wobbled up to the podium, thanked him and stared at amazing at the round, gold medal, that, even though it was quite heavy, lifted my spirits and inspired me to do a little better...at everything.
I started my speech and it seemed to go over well. I felt like I might have breathed into the microphone too much, but I made the crowd laugh when I added my random lines and jokes and asides, and eventually reached the end and accepted the medal on behalf of ALL video creators online who want to acheive greater things.
People stood up and clapped, and it was the most lovely thing. I didn't know everyone in the room, but I am so glad that they were extremely supportive.
I did get very angry at myself for forgetting to mention one of my colleagues though, it plagued me for the whole night.
Once people had started parting for the night, Sarah and I watched Ricky and Nalts drink and be merry while filming on the Flip Sarah borrowed from Luke for the night, and be very funny with all their witty banter and true observations.
I thanked my boss for all that he had done and it felt good for everyone to be happy.
We were one of the last people to leave, there was this lovely woman there called Rose who was taking lots of pictures of everyone and was very sweet to me. She gave Sarah and I some good solid advice about boys and then we braved the cold that was even icier now, and accepted Nalts' invitation to drive us home.
When I got inside and sat on my bed, I shared a private, happy moment, where I simply smiled nad felt fulfilled. The night hadn't been such a disaster after all. Time was still urging me forward and I still didn't feel in control of this person that everyone was saying such lovely things about, but I accepted that it was just a moment, a wonderful moment and that I'm very lucky and that I should just be happy with this happy accident of a life that I'm leading.
After all, my Mum said I was a happy accident, so maybe that's what my whole life will be. One long series of rewarding accidents, a blonde whisp lacking in motivation, floating through the air of life.
Yeah, sounds alright. But I do want to steer my journey for a while. I'm not ready to. I will know when I will be, and all will be merry and there will be cake.
Thank you National Arts Club, this medal has inspired me to be the greater thing that you see in me.
The Standard Girl and The Michael Cera Bumper-Innerer.
I buried my head in my pillow, and wondered why I thought shutting my eyes to the world was going to solve any of my problems.
Eventually, when it was almost to late to do anything, I got up, showered and braved the icy cold of the early day.
I walked South to Economy Candy and stood in wonder for a moment as I gazed at their wall-to-wall shop fall of delightful cavity inducing wonders.
I wanted to try everything and nothing all at the same time. Candy is good, but sometimes it just leaves you feeling like a cheap date; empty and a little bit worthless.
I called my colleague and asked her how many Candied Stars we wanted for tonight's dreaded event. She told me 5 pounds for each. I told the lady. And moments later I was hailing a cab with a large shopping bag filled with blue and white candied stars...and a ready-made Smore (do you add the 'S' for singular use?) for me. I needed some kind nutrition for breakfast.
On the way to the office I was told I would not have to go to meeting at 11am and my mood lightened a great deal. I dropped the Candied Stars off to the Marketing Lady, tasted one: bad, and then proceeded to watch 'My Super Sweet 16' in the reception office with the awesome receptionist and my extremely messy Smore. 30 seconds really is too much.
Once I had wiped all the chocolate off my face, I then thought that I might need new shoes for the event and went to the horribly organized shoe store on the corner of 14th Street and Broadway. I walked away with nothing but a request for my phone number from a man from the Caribbean who liked Cricket.
I told him I was taken. I had enough Cricket in my life to last me forever.
I had to run to the Salon to get my hair done for the event at 6:30pm. I was nervous because I felt like I was running out of time. That my life was, again, just an hourglass ("...so are the days of our lives"). I felt like I was completely out of control, that time was just steering me to my impending doom.
I then encountered one of those, "New York Hates Me" moments when there is not a cab available anywhere. I was going to be late. So late. Half an hour late. I walked all the way up to 19th Street before I saw one glowing its golden light just for me.
The Salon experience, was long but pleasant. I always find it interesting to be asked, "What would you like to drink" and then to never receive it. It had happened twice at the Salon already (my hair was a mess) and I had decided to just decline whenever it was asked.
Then tea came, and I bit my lip and drank.
I am now very happy with my hair. It's finally similar to my natural shade, but with a little bit more of a dark edge, and it was painless and quick and the man blow drying my hair, did so with such love that I kept patting my hair, as if to make sure it was truly connected to my messy head.
Because I had arrived at 1:30pm and it was now close to 5, it was suggested that I just get my makeup done at the Salon. I agreed because, 1: if I was going to be slaughtered, I might as well look good doing it and 2: It was not exactly my money, so...wait, hold on...uh, it was for the good of the company. Yeah. That's it.
The lady did an amazing job, and when I looked in the mirror I flashed back to when I was 14 and getting my Head Shots done for my new interest in pursuing an acting career (resulting mainly from winning 'The Adjudicators Award' (and getting the Head Shot course for free as a result) from the Australian Acting Academy. I had just been airbrushed and I turned around to the mirror and I couldn't find myself. All I could see was this strangely shaped blonde girl moving exactly the way I did. I quickly looked into the mirror and for the first time realized the wonders of makeup. I became something...well, beautiful (in magazine standards). And as a 14 year old, already full of hormones and that irritating air of desperately wanting to be an Adult, I was quite excited.
The photos were never used. The prints were a waste of money. Though pretty to look at, yes, casting directors don't want to look at airbrushed people because airbrushed people can never be ever-airbrushed (unless your Christina Aguilera). So that was silly.
I wasn't airbrushed, but she had done something to my eyelids that made my eyes pop...and then, suddenly I was rushing from the second floor of the shiny Plaza Hotel, past the portrait of Eloise, through the gorgeously decorated lobby that always makes me feel like someone special, and into a taxi.
My mother called me as the taxi whisked it's way to the East Side, and I panicked to her about how it was 5:30. By the time, I get home it will be 10 to 6, and the car is meant to be picking me up at 6. And I still was not exactly sure on what I was to wear. I told her how I was nervous because I still hadn't made any notes for the speech I was meant to give. I knew what I wanted to say, but I knew notes were good to keep the mind on one track and that I was facing the risk of having a 'blank' and forgetting what I wanted to say. She calmed me down and wished me luck.
I didn't have my keys, so Sarah came down and let me in and I ran upstairs and started to get ready. I threw on the dress I wore to the Oscars Viewing Party that I bought especially for the event, and the sparkly shoes I bought next door, also especially for the event, and added tights and a scarf. Tights because it was cold and the scarf because I don't have the right bra for the dress and would be, hanging loose. As loose as a small B cup can get.
The driver, that was organized to take me to the event, called a few times. First letting me know he was here, and secondly asking me if I was coming. I'm used to drivers simply waiting. And he was early anyway. Jake said he was told to be there at 6.15.
I shouldn't have been so surprised when I called him (after it had taken me 3 tries to actually leave the apartment without forgetting anything) that he had left because, "I couldn't wait that long." I was 3 minutes early. "Call the car company, get another car."
I called out an expletive as I hung up the phone and walked to the corner. As I was walking the car company called me, "Only 21 dollar". I hung up the phone. I didn't have the time to wait for a driver to arrive to take me to an event that a Yellow Cab could get me to in less than 10 mins and for about 6 dollars.
Unfortunately, something as silly as a driver not being there waiting for me (who really needs a personal driver, anyway?) got to me, as the melodramatic, princess version of Caitlin started to take over. The side of Caitlin wanted the car. She didn't want to be standing in the East Village made up far too preciously for the neighbourhood, and in the freezing night.
The normal Caitlin, the one typing this, just wanted to text Fox Lampert. I missed him terribly and wanted him to be with me as I faced the scary event. I read his supportive, proud texts in the taxi as reggae music blasted around me, and could barely see his lovely words through my bleary eyes. I leaned my head back and blinked furiously, I didn't want to look like I had been crying, but two long slow tears escaped from both eyes and trickled down. That was all that was needed to come out. After that, I sucked it up and prepared for business.
I got out of the cab and walked around Gramercy Park to where the event would be taking place that night, the National Arts Club, which resides in a beautiful old house that has hosted many a true artists and real celebrities party and also had a great history of being the first club to allow women as members.
As I stepped through the doors into the warmer marble entry hall, the man asked me, "Are you here for Caitlin Hill?" I smiled and nodded and he showed me the coat room.
Yes, I was here for Caitlin Hill. That's right. That's me. I still felt like a fool, but my confidence was coming back. This was an honor, treat it like so, imagine how you'll feel when it's over, be grateful, stand up straight.
When I came back to the hall, the man asked me, "Are you tonight's Honoree? Caitlin Hill?" I nodded gratefully and he said, "I thought so," and pointed me up the stairs.
I shook hands with the man organizing the event and thanked him for his hard work.
David and Jake were already there, and I felt an enormous wave of relief wash over me as I walked to stand next to them. They felt like my rocks. If I stood next to them, and just talked about whatever, everything would be fine. They both looked great in their suits, and they were nice about my "costume" too. We stood close to the doorway, that leads towards the sitting rooms and the bar, for a while, greeting people as they entered and talking about nothing in particular.
After I had greeted a few people, I realized that the anxiety had made my mouth very dry, so I ordered a coke. "You're here for Caitlin Hill, right?" I smiled and nodded again. I liked the anonymity, and watched him as he signed off some sort of check list that would measure the budget of the party.
It was great talking with Cousin Brucie, who would be speaking later. I had realized I knew a legend a few months ago after I heard his voice on Across The Universe.
There were a great deal of wonderful people there, Walter, Catherine, the investors, Billy, Grace, Reese Schonfeld (another hero in media; the creator (with Ted Turner) of CNN and founder the Food Network) a whole bunch of other people that deserved more of my whole attention and fascination, and the wonderful man that is Aldon James, president of the club. He is possibly one of the most delightful people I have ever met. He is all at once, wise, honest and extremely funny and I have a great deal of respect for him. I told him I would help him learn how to use a computer.
Sarah came too, and it was so lovely of her to take the time out of her hectic schedule to support me. She is a lovely girl, and she looked gorgeous too.
I was quite excited to talk to Grace though, because she is training people, and I have reached a stage where if I don't start doing excercize, my thighs and hips are only going to continue to get bigger. I have lost most of the weight I gained from my first 6 months in America. I am feeling much better about myself now, but I believe Grace has what it takes to bring me back into an enthusiastic routine of excercizing.
Ricky Butler was also there. I was surprised to see him because I did not expect for him to come. But he is a new member now, so I guess it was fairly easy. Still, I was happy to see him as he's a good guy and we hadn't spoken in ages.
Suddenly a bell began to clang and after quickly exchanging introductions with an Australian reporter for a New York publication, we all rushed inside where a salad was already waiting for us.
I couldn't decide whether I was happy the food came out first or not. On one hand it pleased me because now I had more time to settle in and relax, and on the other time, it would have been nice to get 'The Scary' over with and enjoy the Lamb Chops I had requested be served as the main course for everyone.
I didn't eat very much, because I was on my best behaviour and mostly talked to Aldon about all kinds of things. He is a very busy man, balancing his evening between two receptions and searching for special things in the great big house while coming back to each course.
Eventually the lamb and dessert had been cleared away, and the Misters began to make their speeches all about little ol' me and what I have done.
I was extremely grateful for the kind words they showered on me. If I truly believed I had earned those words, I would have been very excited, but I couldn't help but feel pangs of guilt as I thought of all the people that have helped me and put up with my bad manners, lateness, laziness and depression.
Nalts made a terrific speech (when he sat down he said, "and now I can get hammered!" - I love him!), he was just brilliant, as was Reese, Allan Shaw, Cousin Brucie, Walter and Aldon, the nerves started to grow as I realized that maybe winging the speech wasn't such a great idea after all.
When Aldon presented me with the Medal of Honor for a Lifetime Acheivement in The Arts, I wobbled up to the podium, thanked him and stared at amazing at the round, gold medal, that, even though it was quite heavy, lifted my spirits and inspired me to do a little better...at everything.
I started my speech and it seemed to go over well. I felt like I might have breathed into the microphone too much, but I made the crowd laugh when I added my random lines and jokes and asides, and eventually reached the end and accepted the medal on behalf of ALL video creators online who want to acheive greater things.
People stood up and clapped, and it was the most lovely thing. I didn't know everyone in the room, but I am so glad that they were extremely supportive.
I did get very angry at myself for forgetting to mention one of my colleagues though, it plagued me for the whole night.
Once people had started parting for the night, Sarah and I watched Ricky and Nalts drink and be merry while filming on the Flip Sarah borrowed from Luke for the night, and be very funny with all their witty banter and true observations.
I thanked my boss for all that he had done and it felt good for everyone to be happy.
We were one of the last people to leave, there was this lovely woman there called Rose who was taking lots of pictures of everyone and was very sweet to me. She gave Sarah and I some good solid advice about boys and then we braved the cold that was even icier now, and accepted Nalts' invitation to drive us home.
When I got inside and sat on my bed, I shared a private, happy moment, where I simply smiled nad felt fulfilled. The night hadn't been such a disaster after all. Time was still urging me forward and I still didn't feel in control of this person that everyone was saying such lovely things about, but I accepted that it was just a moment, a wonderful moment and that I'm very lucky and that I should just be happy with this happy accident of a life that I'm leading.
After all, my Mum said I was a happy accident, so maybe that's what my whole life will be. One long series of rewarding accidents, a blonde whisp lacking in motivation, floating through the air of life.
Yeah, sounds alright. But I do want to steer my journey for a while. I'm not ready to. I will know when I will be, and all will be merry and there will be cake.
Thank you National Arts Club, this medal has inspired me to be the greater thing that you see in me.
The Standard Girl and The Michael Cera Bumper-Innerer.
Wednesday 10 December 2008
National Arts Club - Medal of Honor (formeogmaigadz)
Before you read this, please note that my reaction to receiving this award was, "Oh no, Walter. What have you done?" I was mortified. I don't like receiving things I don't deserve but also didn't want to seem ungracious, because I adore the National Arts Club. I don't believe there was any money involved in receiving this award. I believe that the people involved were amused and impressed by the amount of views and perhaps didn't know that in the world of YouTube, it is hardly impressive.
So, when I accepted the award, I said that I wasn't accepting this for myself, but for all the online creators out there. I also secretly hoped that I will one day be able to feel like I've finally earned the award my dedicating my life to the arts.
I'm still grateful to the National Art Club for the award, and here is my - rather teen-like - account of the night.
This blog was originally posted on my Mostly Private Myspace:
Current mood: on plane
Hey everyone,
It's been so long since I've posted a blog on myspace, I'm almost at a loss of how to go about explaining what I've been up to.
Everything is out in the open now, so there will be no more secrets and I can just blog like the regular girl that I am.
Last night, I was the Honoree guest at the National Arts Club for the Lifetime Achievement Medal of Honor in the Arts - for making videos - crazy.
I'm only 20, and a fairly new 20 year old at that, and now I'm being awarded for something I've spent less than 3 years working on.
It was a little overwhelming and I also felt like it was completely ludicrous, I mean, really? Me? Come on! What about that guy? He does stuff.
I'm extremely grateful to the President Aldon James - the most delightful eccentric man I think I have ever met and the board of the NAC and also Walter Sabo, the CEO of Hitviews (my boss...even though he prefers that we are all just colleagues and business partners) for making the event such a success.
The NAC house was gorgeous, decked out in Christmas decorations and simply glowing like a really beautiful, old-fashioned Christmas tree.
Catherine, the marketing lady, had created these marvelous gift bags and I got to choose the main meal (lamb chops for the win).
Reese Schonfeld, the man who (along with Ted Turner) created CNN made a speech all about me (that nearly made me cry), and Walter spoke and he was very sweet for someone who has definitely seen some bad sides of my character, Nalts spoke and was very funny (he made me so nervous, because I hadn't prepared and his speech was absolutely wicked), Allen Shaw spoke and was wonderfully down with the URL Lingo and Online videomakers and THE Cousin Brucie (that's the man who introduced the Beatles to America and was King of Rock n Roll on the airwaves) talked about how crazy the Online world is, and how he doesn't understand what I do, but he likes it.
I was very surprised to see Ricky Butler there, but he and Nalts made it really fun once it was all over, joking around and making fun of people...
I was so glad that Sarah came, who is my hot lady roommate, she looked gorgeous and she got some great shots of everything that happened.
I'm sorry that this is so disjointed. I'm just feeling a little bit 'off' from having not written a blog in so long. Most of the time, I start writing with a message to say and a way to frame it and this is just a bunch of memories spilling out, and being pumped through my fingers as fast as I can keep up with them.
It was a great way to end the day.
I had a private little moment of happiness in my room once I got back home.
The pressure I felt to be something enamorous and spellbinding quickly fell away as soon as I arrived, and my acceptance speech went really well (apparently), even though I was "winging" it.
The day before had been quite depressing, true, I did start the morning right by going to Economy Candy on Rivington Street to buy candy for the gift bags (that shop is incredible), and yes, little work was actually accomplished due to having to rush to the salon a little after noon, but taxi cabs weren't there and people were frustrating and I just felt like I was having one big "New York Hates Me" day.
And when finally, after hair and makeup were complete and I had rushed back home to put on my dress (a spontaneous decision that thankfully turned out alright), the car that was meant to take me to the NAC decided that it wasn't going to be on time, but early, (and I was prepared to be on time) and decided that "I couldn't wait that long, call the car company". I promptly told him to "!@#$ off" It was so rude. I wasn't even late and David (money guy at the company who organized the cars) told them to wait and just add on the charges). So then the car company calls me off, and tells me it can get me a car for 20 dollars and I was just like, screw this. A cab can get me there in 5 dollars.
So I caught a cab, but then I was reading my <3's texts to me and everything suddenly became too much and two thick tears rolled down my cheeks as I blinked furiously and tried to pull myself together.
I did. And I did it good. Finally. : P
xoxo
Comments (3)
Sunday 23 November 2008
Flight to San Fran & Friday Night Lobby Party
Mr Lampert called me at 6am to wake me up so that I didn't wake up late and miss my flight. It was ever so sweet, because I didn't ask him to do it and I couldn't simply go to bed after his call because then I would be letting him down.
So I got up and got ready (I had already packed the night before, and quite well too), and packed the last of my chargers and toiletries and then proceeded to do a little work before I had to go.
I went to Duane Reade and picked up film, gum and batteries and then hailed a cab and took off.
I was so proud of myself for being up early and being on time.
The taxi made me feel quite sick, I hadn't eaten and he was doing that horrible thing where they brake constantly so that you're always going back and forth, back and forth and oh, it was awful. But at least he was quick. I arrived at the airport at 9:30 and my flight didn't leave until 10:50.
I checked in and made sure I entered my Qantas Frequent Flyer number and was very happy to see that my ticket had been stamped 'Sapphire Priority Access'. I didn't know what it would do exactly, but I like Sapphires so I was happy.
When I got to the security line the guy looked at my ticket and told me I could go through Priority Access and I was really happy, because JFK was busy that morning. I did a very quiet, "Muahhahah" as I twisted and turned through the roped lines.
Once out of security, I realized that I could go to Club too, which is my favourite place to go to at airports, mainly because the toilets are so nice...and I like being called, Miss Hill. : P
For once in my life, I just strolled up to gate instead of rushing and panicking...I wasn't carrying anything super heavy and painful, and... I don't know... I know this entry sound stupid, but it just felt nice to be organized and grown up... I was still flying Economy so little things, like nice toilets and quick security make you happy.
The flight was okay, I can never get comfortable in those seats.
I wrote a letter (LLLOONNGG!!!) to my Mum and then Mamma Mia! came on, and I knew I would never rent it on purpose so I decided to watch it. It was nice, cute with lots of energy, but still a little lame and at some points, the quality was super low. I also thought the direction was really poor, especially for the 'Money, Money, Money' song.
The actors (the "oldies") like Meryl Streep and Julie Walters made the film though, their youthful energy and actual good acting made the film better than it might have been without them. And Colin Firth....well, I wont ruin it, but that was a side of him I've never sen before! : P
Wow. This is one of the lamest blog posts ever.
Haight and Ashbury is quieter than it was for February 2007. Lots of joints had closed. It was sort of sad.
I did have a great conversation with Jake at the Peace Cafe though, it's always nice when you just to get talk to someone and learn about their life. I like that.
Amoeba Music is awesome as always, took so many pictures of films I want to rent/buy when I can afford to.
Went to the Hilton and hung out in the Lobby, so many wonderful YouTuber's were there. The energy was great, and I was in the right frame of mind to actually enjoy myself and talk to people (sometimes I get far too awkward and can't relate, but that night was great). Just thinking about it, I get super happy. Everyone was just adorable and so interesting to talk to. It was great to see Dax again, and Rhett and Link, Poykpac, Molly, Olga, SupRicky, Brandon Hardesty was lovely - I was being odd on purpose and decided I had to force him to hug me, but then we had a conversation using only our hands and some weird sort of interpretive dance, and Michael and his Husband were adorable and sweet as always.. gosh, so many people. All I can say, was that everyone was lovely.
I enjoy THOSE gatherings. Where there aren't so many cameras, less talking about yourself, more talking TO other people. I suppose the other gatherings could be like that too, but there is often too much pressure to be something you're not...
Last night was good. Okay. I'm sorry. I guess I am just having a happy moment. Wow, this is going to make me even more lame... but I don't hang out with people very much. I get very nervous in social situations usually, but last night was just perfect.
Oh and thanks to Danny for the Indian Food - awesome.
Oh and the PopTub guys were really nice, I think I freaked one guy out though by commenting about his smile too much - sometimes I should just be quiet and keep my first impressions to myself.
Alrighty, I'm going to do some work before getting ready and get there early... I'm not a tip-top-tuber so I have to fight against all the other crazy people! : )
-The Nervous Blue Blanket and Virgin America Pimp Session. <3
So I got up and got ready (I had already packed the night before, and quite well too), and packed the last of my chargers and toiletries and then proceeded to do a little work before I had to go.
I went to Duane Reade and picked up film, gum and batteries and then hailed a cab and took off.
I was so proud of myself for being up early and being on time.
The taxi made me feel quite sick, I hadn't eaten and he was doing that horrible thing where they brake constantly so that you're always going back and forth, back and forth and oh, it was awful. But at least he was quick. I arrived at the airport at 9:30 and my flight didn't leave until 10:50.
I checked in and made sure I entered my Qantas Frequent Flyer number and was very happy to see that my ticket had been stamped 'Sapphire Priority Access'. I didn't know what it would do exactly, but I like Sapphires so I was happy.
When I got to the security line the guy looked at my ticket and told me I could go through Priority Access and I was really happy, because JFK was busy that morning. I did a very quiet, "Muahhahah" as I twisted and turned through the roped lines.
Once out of security, I realized that I could go to Club too, which is my favourite place to go to at airports, mainly because the toilets are so nice...and I like being called, Miss Hill. : P
For once in my life, I just strolled up to gate instead of rushing and panicking...I wasn't carrying anything super heavy and painful, and... I don't know... I know this entry sound stupid, but it just felt nice to be organized and grown up... I was still flying Economy so little things, like nice toilets and quick security make you happy.
The flight was okay, I can never get comfortable in those seats.
I wrote a letter (LLLOONNGG!!!) to my Mum and then Mamma Mia! came on, and I knew I would never rent it on purpose so I decided to watch it. It was nice, cute with lots of energy, but still a little lame and at some points, the quality was super low. I also thought the direction was really poor, especially for the 'Money, Money, Money' song.
The actors (the "oldies") like Meryl Streep and Julie Walters made the film though, their youthful energy and actual good acting made the film better than it might have been without them. And Colin Firth....well, I wont ruin it, but that was a side of him I've never sen before! : P
Wow. This is one of the lamest blog posts ever.
Haight and Ashbury is quieter than it was for February 2007. Lots of joints had closed. It was sort of sad.
I did have a great conversation with Jake at the Peace Cafe though, it's always nice when you just to get talk to someone and learn about their life. I like that.
Amoeba Music is awesome as always, took so many pictures of films I want to rent/buy when I can afford to.
Went to the Hilton and hung out in the Lobby, so many wonderful YouTuber's were there. The energy was great, and I was in the right frame of mind to actually enjoy myself and talk to people (sometimes I get far too awkward and can't relate, but that night was great). Just thinking about it, I get super happy. Everyone was just adorable and so interesting to talk to. It was great to see Dax again, and Rhett and Link, Poykpac, Molly, Olga, SupRicky, Brandon Hardesty was lovely - I was being odd on purpose and decided I had to force him to hug me, but then we had a conversation using only our hands and some weird sort of interpretive dance, and Michael and his Husband were adorable and sweet as always.. gosh, so many people. All I can say, was that everyone was lovely.
I enjoy THOSE gatherings. Where there aren't so many cameras, less talking about yourself, more talking TO other people. I suppose the other gatherings could be like that too, but there is often too much pressure to be something you're not...
Last night was good. Okay. I'm sorry. I guess I am just having a happy moment. Wow, this is going to make me even more lame... but I don't hang out with people very much. I get very nervous in social situations usually, but last night was just perfect.
Oh and thanks to Danny for the Indian Food - awesome.
Oh and the PopTub guys were really nice, I think I freaked one guy out though by commenting about his smile too much - sometimes I should just be quiet and keep my first impressions to myself.
Alrighty, I'm going to do some work before getting ready and get there early... I'm not a tip-top-tuber so I have to fight against all the other crazy people! : )
-The Nervous Blue Blanket and Virgin America Pimp Session. <3
Thursday 20 November 2008
YouTube Live! - MySpace
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Parties and Nightlife
So I'm going to YouTube Live on Saturday, will you be going too? I am very excited about the artists performing and seeing the featured YT guests. I will be busy because I will be there for work, but I do hope to take time to have fun and celebrate YouTube streaming Live. Pretty awesome event to be a part of. Thanks to Damien xoxo
Wednesday 19 November 2008
Ravens And Foxes; An Update
Hello, I'm sorry I missed my Live Show - I was looking forward to being consistent, but the Internet was down and I was dealing with other urgent matters, like paying rent and escaping this whole, '3 Day Notice to Pay or Quit' thing.
Ugh, just give me a week and everything will be fine.
It's not like I'm irresponsible (anymore) or poor, there was just too many deposits in such a short space of time; bad timing, but good in the long run.
I just want to get my deposit back... So much money... MY money. : (
Well, I sold my book (almost, just got to get my paypal details again), so that's great!
I sort of like selling stuff.
I wonder if I should try to create something and put it online? People have been telling me to do that for ages... I think I now have the creative drive to actually go do it. What do you think?
Calli came to stay for Saturday and Sunday night.
It has been such a long time since I've seen her, but she is still as adorable and charming as ever. If you don't know her she is known as TheSlyestFox, she is also in a band: Beasts and SuperBeasts, and she is also the creator of HotForNerds - but at the moment, most of the girls are failing at posting...well, I know I am : /
Calli was visiting her cool friends and my roommate, but it was still lovely to see her again and get some tips about what kind of facial cleansers I should use - yay for girls!
The great thing about FINALLY caring about money is that I make more meals for myself or at least buy products that turn into an 'Instant Meal'. The only problem with cooking when you have only studied one year of Food Technology is that you end up cooking yourself French Toast for dinner...because it's easy...
Oh, and then you end up creating a Fog in you're own "house."
Well done, Caitlin. Your Mother would be very proud of you.
Funny, but it made me think of fire safety... if that was just from the Gas being on too high, then the chances of me waking in time to notice a Fire before I died from smoke inhalation first would be very low.
*shudder*
Looks like this is more of a "journal entry" than an entry about one thing (thanks very much for enjoying my Chocolate article too), so I guess the only thing to report is how odd it is that Raven's seem to follow me everywhere these days.
Not only did there happen to be a White-Necked African Raven (in a cage, *sad face*) at the National Arts Club the other day, but I just received a beautiful letter in the post from a Mr. Nathan Armfield who sent me an original piece of artwork entitled, "Raven Overlooking the Destruction of Time in the Valley of the Vision".
I felt really lucky to have this piece and I was also confused as I can't really connect how Mr Armfield knows me or how I know him. If we have met, it will only take one clue for me to suddenly remember, but for now, I'm at a loss.
Fox Lampert says that the Raven is my Totem. Maybe it is. I just find it funny that I've always felt this pull towards any black bird, but it is only now, that Ravens follow me everywhere. I enjoy the mystery of it all very much.
Before I fly away on thoughts of fancy...
I want to sit on stone staircases and ready dusty tomes.
What am I listening to, right now?
Thomas Simmons: 2002 Lecture at Stanford #2 - Freeman Spogli Institute for International Studies - available on iTunes
I am preparing to work on these Request Videos, there are many, so forgive me, but I really want to do this as best as I can. I think I may get the first Request Videos (the one for people who forgot to request anything) out tonight!
-The Unforgotten Ticking and Stick filled with Sabon Aroma 'Paradise'.
Ugh, just give me a week and everything will be fine.
It's not like I'm irresponsible (anymore) or poor, there was just too many deposits in such a short space of time; bad timing, but good in the long run.
I just want to get my deposit back... So much money... MY money. : (
Well, I sold my book (almost, just got to get my paypal details again), so that's great!
I sort of like selling stuff.
I wonder if I should try to create something and put it online? People have been telling me to do that for ages... I think I now have the creative drive to actually go do it. What do you think?
Calli came to stay for Saturday and Sunday night.
It has been such a long time since I've seen her, but she is still as adorable and charming as ever. If you don't know her she is known as TheSlyestFox, she is also in a band: Beasts and SuperBeasts, and she is also the creator of HotForNerds - but at the moment, most of the girls are failing at posting...well, I know I am : /
Calli was visiting her cool friends and my roommate, but it was still lovely to see her again and get some tips about what kind of facial cleansers I should use - yay for girls!
The great thing about FINALLY caring about money is that I make more meals for myself or at least buy products that turn into an 'Instant Meal'. The only problem with cooking when you have only studied one year of Food Technology is that you end up cooking yourself French Toast for dinner...because it's easy...
Oh, and then you end up creating a Fog in you're own "house."
Well done, Caitlin. Your Mother would be very proud of you.
Funny, but it made me think of fire safety... if that was just from the Gas being on too high, then the chances of me waking in time to notice a Fire before I died from smoke inhalation first would be very low.
*shudder*
Looks like this is more of a "journal entry" than an entry about one thing (thanks very much for enjoying my Chocolate article too), so I guess the only thing to report is how odd it is that Raven's seem to follow me everywhere these days.
Not only did there happen to be a White-Necked African Raven (in a cage, *sad face*) at the National Arts Club the other day, but I just received a beautiful letter in the post from a Mr. Nathan Armfield who sent me an original piece of artwork entitled, "Raven Overlooking the Destruction of Time in the Valley of the Vision".
I felt really lucky to have this piece and I was also confused as I can't really connect how Mr Armfield knows me or how I know him. If we have met, it will only take one clue for me to suddenly remember, but for now, I'm at a loss.
Fox Lampert says that the Raven is my Totem. Maybe it is. I just find it funny that I've always felt this pull towards any black bird, but it is only now, that Ravens follow me everywhere. I enjoy the mystery of it all very much.
Before I fly away on thoughts of fancy...
I want to sit on stone staircases and ready dusty tomes.
What am I listening to, right now?
Thomas Simmons: 2002 Lecture at Stanford #2 - Freeman Spogli Institute for International Studies - available on iTunes
I am preparing to work on these Request Videos, there are many, so forgive me, but I really want to do this as best as I can. I think I may get the first Request Videos (the one for people who forgot to request anything) out tonight!
-The Unforgotten Ticking and Stick filled with Sabon Aroma 'Paradise'.
Saturday 8 November 2008
Even More Places For Depressed People In New York City
The 11th Annual Chocolate Show has returned to New York City, nestling down at Pier 94 for a few days after having visited Tokyo in January and Paris last month.
The show kicked off last night with a tantalizing Fashion Show and will stick around until the 9th.
Tickets are available from Ticketmaster at $28 an Adult, Children under 12 get in free, unless you have more than 2, then each addition child costs $8 – way to make the youngest child feel guilty for being the ‘extra one’.
A large list of exhibits from comfy home style brownies to exquisite, exotic works of chocolate-y goodness are on display, but don’t expect to get your grubby palms on any of these chocolate refineries, but do prepare yourself and bring a bucket for the amount of saliva you will produce while walking through the exhibits.
And if you and your sweetie-pie, your sweetie-pie being your tongue, want to escape from the kids for a few hours, or days, you can leave the kids at the ever-original KidZone (where kids have so much fun due to the capital Z!!), which “provides fun, creative and education activities for children related to chocolate…”
Educational? Really? I never would have considered learning how to make a person out of Smores educational. The closest they will get to education is counting how many times they increase their risk of developing diabetes when they are 60.
Still, the Fashion looks fascinating, all the designers seemed to be heavily influenced by Asian culture, with some taking on a more Spanish vibe, while others were heavily influenced by Africa, Native Americans and, of course, The Spartans. Ever since those 300 sweaty gay men poured onto our IMAX screens, fashion designers haven’t been able to leave their “style” alone.
What do Spartans have to do with chocolate, I hear you ask?
Well, 300 Spartans are still probably delectable enough to get your mouth-watering, never mind whom they decide to “celebrate” with after a bloody battle.
Anyway, now that my mind is full of the glory that is David Wenham, be sure to visit the site to investigate the cooking shows and competitions, and the book signings happening at Barnes and Noble.
As much as I'm fascinated, I'm sure I'll just end up with a good ol' Cadbury Bar.
-The Chili Peppered Hot Chocolate and The 100th Viewing of Chocolat
Wednesday 5 November 2008
America - We Love You
I don't belong to this country and I never will. That's just the way it has to be for some travelers.
I do know that I am extremely proud of the people who DO belong to this country, who do make up the fine country that is the United States of America.
You will now realize, America, that the world doesn't hate you. We don't want to. We want to appreciate all you've done for us and all you have given the world. And we will. We will follow that bright beacon now that a true, honest leader is lighting the way.
Of course, times will be tough. Every move will be scrutinized. Not all of our dreams will come true. Money will be lost. Wars will not end immediately. And not all damage, to your fellow people, your allies, your enemies, and your country will be undone.
Maybe we can now believe in our planet. Maybe now we will look beyond our computers and towards a bright, shiny new day. We'll step out onto the fresh earth and plant a tree, ride a bike, support our leader, stay informed, let our voices be heard.
As Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. We are the change. We are humans. The most advanced species on this earth. We have so much power and we have come so far, we can go further and we can do it in a natural, safe way and give our children a healthier, safer future.
This is the step that we needed to take. Obama is not the solution, he is the inspiration. It truly is up to us.
They say the president is nothing more than a CEO. But CEO's can be influenced by their people. While the government may still be working in an inefficient, if not, corrupt way, they will never change unless they hear our protests; hear our voices.
And Obama told us he was listening. So stand up and say something now, while everything is just getting started.
I do know that I am extremely proud of the people who DO belong to this country, who do make up the fine country that is the United States of America.
You will now realize, America, that the world doesn't hate you. We don't want to. We want to appreciate all you've done for us and all you have given the world. And we will. We will follow that bright beacon now that a true, honest leader is lighting the way.
Of course, times will be tough. Every move will be scrutinized. Not all of our dreams will come true. Money will be lost. Wars will not end immediately. And not all damage, to your fellow people, your allies, your enemies, and your country will be undone.
Maybe we can now believe in our planet. Maybe now we will look beyond our computers and towards a bright, shiny new day. We'll step out onto the fresh earth and plant a tree, ride a bike, support our leader, stay informed, let our voices be heard.
As Gandhi said, be the change you want to see in the world. We are the change. We are humans. The most advanced species on this earth. We have so much power and we have come so far, we can go further and we can do it in a natural, safe way and give our children a healthier, safer future.
This is the step that we needed to take. Obama is not the solution, he is the inspiration. It truly is up to us.
They say the president is nothing more than a CEO. But CEO's can be influenced by their people. While the government may still be working in an inefficient, if not, corrupt way, they will never change unless they hear our protests; hear our voices.
And Obama told us he was listening. So stand up and say something now, while everything is just getting started.
Monday 20 October 2008
Chapter 4: Nerdification
Last Thursday night I accompanied my friend Holly Golightly to the book signing of John Green's new book, which is apparently fantastic, Paper Towns.
I was instantly excited because I got to spend the night with a whole bunch of awesome books that I cannot attain (at the moment).
I was surprised to see Charlie(issocoollike) and Alex(Nerimon) there, but I guess everyone was.
Unfortunately we missed the very beginning of the night, so when we got there John Green finished talking, Hank Green said it was the best book ever and then they began signing.
I was instantly excited because I got to spend the night with a whole bunch of awesome books that I cannot attain (at the moment).
I was surprised to see Charlie(issocoollike) and Alex(Nerimon) there, but I guess everyone was.
Unfortunately we missed the very beginning of the night, so when we got there John Green finished talking, Hank Green said it was the best book ever and then they began signing.
Saturday 18 October 2008
Thank You and Intelligence Is Sexy
Whoa. Shit. Your helpful comments are going to take me a while to read and concentrate on.
Thank you very much for taking time out of your day to help me understand the American Government better, I really appreciate it.
I am definitely inspired by people who are interested in what is going on in their world and intelligence. I absolutely adore a brilliant mind, since I don't have one :)
I also think I am inspired by my friend Emily. You may have seen her pictures on my MySpace and FaceBook. She is studying Political Science and wants to work for the UN and work in Peru; I think she is amazing and am so proud of her changing from a Teaching course to Political Science. Don't get me wrong, teaching is honourable, but I know my friend Emily has so much potential that she needs to share with the world...
...so I suppose she inspires me to be more active in these areas. I don't think she realizes how much she has influenced me.
Anyway, at the moment I'm going back and forth between an explanation of Egalitarianism and an article about the first American Serial Killer, H. H. Holmes...
My brain is confused...but! I have carrots! This means my brain will soon be awesome.
-The Statue Of A Crow and The Hand That Strokes It.
Thank you very much for taking time out of your day to help me understand the American Government better, I really appreciate it.
I am definitely inspired by people who are interested in what is going on in their world and intelligence. I absolutely adore a brilliant mind, since I don't have one :)
I also think I am inspired by my friend Emily. You may have seen her pictures on my MySpace and FaceBook. She is studying Political Science and wants to work for the UN and work in Peru; I think she is amazing and am so proud of her changing from a Teaching course to Political Science. Don't get me wrong, teaching is honourable, but I know my friend Emily has so much potential that she needs to share with the world...
...so I suppose she inspires me to be more active in these areas. I don't think she realizes how much she has influenced me.
Anyway, at the moment I'm going back and forth between an explanation of Egalitarianism and an article about the first American Serial Killer, H. H. Holmes...
My brain is confused...but! I have carrots! This means my brain will soon be awesome.
-The Statue Of A Crow and The Hand That Strokes It.
Friday 17 October 2008
Chapter 3: Clarification and Education
Below (below this blog bit) is a message I received in my YouTube inbox.
I am inexperienced with American politics and am judging a lot of what I hope for America off the recent change from Liberal to Labor that occurred when Kevin Rudd was elected Prime Minister.
I believe it's all about balance. No candidate is perfect, but we are living in a Right Wing World which is not doing this nation any good, we need to tip back a bit, give those living in poverty a chance. It is not Obama's fault if people living on the middle ground have not saved or have suffered under the Republican government, they should realize, from History, that we (since I am in the middle too) will pull through and make it and will see a lot of our hopes and dreams (and bank accounts) come into fruition eventually.
We can't be rich all the time. People who live this way need to realize that their level of excess is not required for survival, and we should stop aspiring to live that way and instead appreciate the more beautiful things, like the native animals, the trees THAT GIVE US LIFE (I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE THIS. WE DON'T GET OXYGEN FROM ANYWHERE ELSE!!!), the oceans and our fellow human being. Let's live for the sake of living. Let's cook a simple home meal, cheaper than mcdonalds, and sit outside with our parents and children and friends and watch the sunset. Honestly, what more could you want from life?
Anyway, let me know what points I got wrong. I'm currently studying both candidates campaigns and looking at the fundamental elements of Capitalism, Socialism and Communism so I can really understand what all the "name-calling" is about.
Here's to education (which Obama has a pretty good plan for by the way! ;D)
Subject:
american presidential race
Date:
Oct 12, 2008
Message:
hello! may name is jarred (pardon my lack of puctuation, i'm feeling lazy today). but my question is, why do you support barak obama? from where i am (florida, u.s.), his plan would increase our taxes, and restrict our private buisnesses. The very foundation of being american that not only I, but the rest of the world has relied upon, has been that our nation is a NATION... with a government, not vice versa. Our Democratic party in the united states believes that the government should help everyone, whether they are willing to work or not. Our expenditures from welfare alone have skyrocketed. But our democratic party is still willing to give handouts. Obviously, I'm a republican, I believe that Government should leave us to live our lives. I work over 40 hours a week, and make BARELY enough to support myself. Yet every week, I know that my tax money is going to people who don't deserve it. I know this, because i physically see it. Voting for barak obama (to me), is like giving my money away, he wants to give me college, he wants to mandate healthcare, he wants to research energy, but at what cost? i'm sure you get plenty of messages like this, but i want to tell you, that there are two people in this election, obama, democrat, andinexperienced well sponken individual. or mccain, quieter, republican person that knows what needs to happen.
My response: also quickly written, but hopefully still intelligible.
His idea is to help out the people behind the small businesses so that they can afford to actually use the small businesses services (that the middle class provide).
Spread it around, get the people who are living in poverty a better chance for a few years.
It's for 4 years dude. 4 short years of service. We just need to balance everything out for a few years, get on better terms with the other governments around the world, finish this war, take care of the little people so that the big people can eventually profit.
The rich should never always expect to be rich - it just doesn't happen like that. They have to learn to do with less and not live with such excess so that this country can better itself. Everyone has to stop being so selfish and think about their fellow neighbour.
Where I come from, the government is expected to help everyone. When did the government simply become a bunch of old men gathering together only to make "really important decisions", like, should we go to war or not? The government is MEANT to take care of everyone. I don't know why you think it is a good idea for them to not care? (ALSO: every issue regarding the American People should be important and fill the seats in Congress)
"Our expenditures from welfare alone have skyrocketed" - UNDER A REPUBLICAN GOVERNMENT!!!!
Who are you to say, these people don't deserve money to live? CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF? How can you even think that way?
Do starving kids in Ethiopia and rape-victims in Darfur deserve handouts/donations from America? According to you, they aren't doing anything for our country, so we should just let them die right?
Do you support the war too? Why are you wasting your tax dollars on people who I'm sure you don't think deserve to live?
You've got to give people a chance to live better lives. You can't just give up, you've got to give them hope. If we give them a little encouragement, maybe there will be some improvement. I'm sure a lot of people will continue on their dark paths, but rich folks follow those paths too, that's just human nature. If you don't give people a chance to change, then nothing ever will and soon enough, YOU WILL BE LIVING IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY and your children and their children will be fleeing your homeland to get away from poisonous fumes and civic wars.
McCain doesn't know what needs to happen. If he did, he wouldn't be supporting off shore drilling or supporting an inexperienced hack like Palin.
Obama knows that we need someone to lead us. Just because he hasn't shot someone does not mean he is inexperienced. He is far more intelligent and a guiding light for the majority of the people in this country who have to live here in the future.
You have to accept that we need change, even if it is for 4 short years, and then maybe we can tip it back to Republicans. It's just gone too far right. It needs to stay in the middle.
Good luck,
Caitlin
Was I wrong? Was I right? Most importantly, was I fair?
Feel free to criticize and educate, I would love to learn more.
-The Donkey Scholar and The Drill That Drilled Too Much.
I am inexperienced with American politics and am judging a lot of what I hope for America off the recent change from Liberal to Labor that occurred when Kevin Rudd was elected Prime Minister.
I believe it's all about balance. No candidate is perfect, but we are living in a Right Wing World which is not doing this nation any good, we need to tip back a bit, give those living in poverty a chance. It is not Obama's fault if people living on the middle ground have not saved or have suffered under the Republican government, they should realize, from History, that we (since I am in the middle too) will pull through and make it and will see a lot of our hopes and dreams (and bank accounts) come into fruition eventually.
We can't be rich all the time. People who live this way need to realize that their level of excess is not required for survival, and we should stop aspiring to live that way and instead appreciate the more beautiful things, like the native animals, the trees THAT GIVE US LIFE (I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE THIS. WE DON'T GET OXYGEN FROM ANYWHERE ELSE!!!), the oceans and our fellow human being. Let's live for the sake of living. Let's cook a simple home meal, cheaper than mcdonalds, and sit outside with our parents and children and friends and watch the sunset. Honestly, what more could you want from life?
Anyway, let me know what points I got wrong. I'm currently studying both candidates campaigns and looking at the fundamental elements of Capitalism, Socialism and Communism so I can really understand what all the "name-calling" is about.
Here's to education (which Obama has a pretty good plan for by the way! ;D)
Subject:
american presidential race
Date:
Oct 12, 2008
Message:
hello! may name is jarred (pardon my lack of puctuation, i'm feeling lazy today). but my question is, why do you support barak obama? from where i am (florida, u.s.), his plan would increase our taxes, and restrict our private buisnesses. The very foundation of being american that not only I, but the rest of the world has relied upon, has been that our nation is a NATION... with a government, not vice versa. Our Democratic party in the united states believes that the government should help everyone, whether they are willing to work or not. Our expenditures from welfare alone have skyrocketed. But our democratic party is still willing to give handouts. Obviously, I'm a republican, I believe that Government should leave us to live our lives. I work over 40 hours a week, and make BARELY enough to support myself. Yet every week, I know that my tax money is going to people who don't deserve it. I know this, because i physically see it. Voting for barak obama (to me), is like giving my money away, he wants to give me college, he wants to mandate healthcare, he wants to research energy, but at what cost? i'm sure you get plenty of messages like this, but i want to tell you, that there are two people in this election, obama, democrat, andinexperienced well sponken individual. or mccain, quieter, republican person that knows what needs to happen.
My response: also quickly written, but hopefully still intelligible.
His idea is to help out the people behind the small businesses so that they can afford to actually use the small businesses services (that the middle class provide).
Spread it around, get the people who are living in poverty a better chance for a few years.
It's for 4 years dude. 4 short years of service. We just need to balance everything out for a few years, get on better terms with the other governments around the world, finish this war, take care of the little people so that the big people can eventually profit.
The rich should never always expect to be rich - it just doesn't happen like that. They have to learn to do with less and not live with such excess so that this country can better itself. Everyone has to stop being so selfish and think about their fellow neighbour.
Where I come from, the government is expected to help everyone. When did the government simply become a bunch of old men gathering together only to make "really important decisions", like, should we go to war or not? The government is MEANT to take care of everyone. I don't know why you think it is a good idea for them to not care? (ALSO: every issue regarding the American People should be important and fill the seats in Congress)
"Our expenditures from welfare alone have skyrocketed" - UNDER A REPUBLICAN GOVERNMENT!!!!
Who are you to say, these people don't deserve money to live? CAN YOU HEAR YOURSELF? How can you even think that way?
Do starving kids in Ethiopia and rape-victims in Darfur deserve handouts/donations from America? According to you, they aren't doing anything for our country, so we should just let them die right?
Do you support the war too? Why are you wasting your tax dollars on people who I'm sure you don't think deserve to live?
You've got to give people a chance to live better lives. You can't just give up, you've got to give them hope. If we give them a little encouragement, maybe there will be some improvement. I'm sure a lot of people will continue on their dark paths, but rich folks follow those paths too, that's just human nature. If you don't give people a chance to change, then nothing ever will and soon enough, YOU WILL BE LIVING IN A THIRD WORLD COUNTRY and your children and their children will be fleeing your homeland to get away from poisonous fumes and civic wars.
McCain doesn't know what needs to happen. If he did, he wouldn't be supporting off shore drilling or supporting an inexperienced hack like Palin.
Obama knows that we need someone to lead us. Just because he hasn't shot someone does not mean he is inexperienced. He is far more intelligent and a guiding light for the majority of the people in this country who have to live here in the future.
You have to accept that we need change, even if it is for 4 short years, and then maybe we can tip it back to Republicans. It's just gone too far right. It needs to stay in the middle.
Good luck,
Caitlin
Was I wrong? Was I right? Most importantly, was I fair?
Feel free to criticize and educate, I would love to learn more.
-The Donkey Scholar and The Drill That Drilled Too Much.
Sunday 12 October 2008
Chapter Two: What Is This Nonsense?
It has recently, and by recently, I mean, now, come to my attention that I don't sign off my "blogs of wisdom and digital paper cuts" the way I use to.
Back in the glorious days of MSN 'My Space' and Buzznet, I use to sign off with delightfully unintelligible sentences like,
The Mischievous Kitty and The Uncircumcised Phallis...
or
The Tall Bottle of Fiji and The Unquenchable First...
or, when I was feeling particularly excitable,
The Crusty Skin In Between Your Toes and The Frog That Ne'er Did Sing...
So let's bring that back. None of this Love, Caitlin nonsense. I don't love you. I don't know who most of you are. Don't mistake my lack of love for lack of respect or admiration, those feelings I have greatly for each and everyone of you. Unless your name is Frederick, then get out!
(If you are named Fredrick, I'm sorry, let's do lunch!)
I don't want any of this Gossip Girl "ex-oh, ex-oh" shite, either.
"You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."
That's right, I'm Simba and I have a sexy Broderick voice and a gorgeously wicked Uncle Scar. *side-note: please take me with your finger*, Jeremy Irons!*
I am back. I have come full circle and I remember who I am...
ROAR! ROARRRR!! ROARRRRRRR!!!!!!
*That's a 40 Year Old Virgin reference by the way, not simply my own gutter-like mind.
The Loved-Out Of Loving You and The Unwatched Season Two of Gossip Girl,
Caitlin motherfucking Hill.
Back in the glorious days of MSN 'My Space' and Buzznet, I use to sign off with delightfully unintelligible sentences like,
The Mischievous Kitty and The Uncircumcised Phallis...
or
The Tall Bottle of Fiji and The Unquenchable First...
or, when I was feeling particularly excitable,
The Crusty Skin In Between Your Toes and The Frog That Ne'er Did Sing...
So let's bring that back. None of this Love, Caitlin nonsense. I don't love you. I don't know who most of you are. Don't mistake my lack of love for lack of respect or admiration, those feelings I have greatly for each and everyone of you. Unless your name is Frederick, then get out!
(If you are named Fredrick, I'm sorry, let's do lunch!)
I don't want any of this Gossip Girl "ex-oh, ex-oh" shite, either.
"You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life."
That's right, I'm Simba and I have a sexy Broderick voice and a gorgeously wicked Uncle Scar. *side-note: please take me with your finger*, Jeremy Irons!*
I am back. I have come full circle and I remember who I am...
ROAR! ROARRRR!! ROARRRRRRR!!!!!!
*That's a 40 Year Old Virgin reference by the way, not simply my own gutter-like mind.
The Loved-Out Of Loving You and The Unwatched Season Two of Gossip Girl,
Caitlin motherfucking Hill.
Wednesday 8 October 2008
Chapter Two: Lights
It was difficult to get moving Monday morning. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and don't start making any progress until it is pointless to do so, because I'm running late for my obligations anyway.
Monday 6 October 2008
"Are You There World? It's Me, Caitlin."
Dear World,
So begins my journey of being a 20 year old female Australian living in New York City, who desperately wants to create and is frustrated by the power the Online World has over her...
What will happen as she descends or ascends (depending on how optimistic you are) on her 3rd decade and the rip-roaring 20s that usually make or break any human being?
Will she learn to put her Online Life to better use?
Will she be a successful business woman, a struggling artist, or a sad Koala?
Will she be in love?
Will she survive the fantasy land that is New York City?
I found an eyelash on my keyboard, picked it up, blew it away and wished for nothing.
***
Chapter One: Apartments
After getting to bed at around 4 in the morning after a very long conversation with Fox Lampert, I woke up just as Golightly woke up to tell us that we all had an hour before we had to see the first apartment that we were looking at today.
It didn't take me long to get out of bed and soon enough we were waiting for the 6 train to waddle by, only to soon exit the station when Golightly realized we were only 7 streets and a few avenues away from the first house; brilliant.
On the way there Miss Pop and I disagreed on the art of spitting. For a girl she is remarkably graceful at it. I suppose I'm just jealous that I've never been able to muster the power to get a shot.
The first place was lovely, a bit out of the way when it comes to the subway, but it was bright and sunny and would probably do us fine. However, even though we could try to convert the "common space" into a third bedroom, I'm pretty darn sure that would just put a lot of tension and stress upon whoever has to sleep there. Partition or not, they still have no privacy and I can just see them getting really unhappy. I know I would, so I'm secretly hoping we find a three or four bedroom that works for us.
The next place was on the Upper East Side, so we jumped on the 4 and walked like we were on a mission to get there on time. I felt like I was on a bit of an adventure, because I was walking to streets I had never been before. It really is amazing how you could spend a lifetime in New York City and still never see everything, how disappointing.
The next place was nice, better than the first, but quite cramped, however we were pretty excited about it. I think at the moment its coming in at a Third. However, we really need to be out before the end of November, and they don't leave until the 7th.
After a quick pit-stop of Nerds for me and Redbull for Golightly, we hopped on the subway again all the way up to what I believe is called Spanish Harlem.
After walking the wrong way, we finally came towards it. At first we were all a bit worried, because its quite an exposed old building and looked like it was crumbling away, but on the inside it is absolutely gorgeous. Glazed brick and cherry red floors, big windows, two bathrooms, four bedrooms. I really hope Fail decides that he would like to live with us or that we can find one more person to join in on the future fun times.
Golightly wants to keep looking, whereas I'm all about settling, but she is right, of course. We have to make sure we ARE getting the best deal. I just really want at least ONE THING in my life to be finalized. Everything is hanging in space at the moment, and I mean absolutely everything. It's so hard to be happy, when the one thing that is delaying your happiness is Time and you can't do anything to speed it up...except keep on living. Who would have ever though that that sentence could sound so depressing?
Before you grab the nearest sharp object, I shall continue with my day.
After we had talked to the other lovely girls living in the apartment building we took the 6 home and I read the NFT Guide that I had given Golightly to see exactly what the possible Future PlaySchool House lies next to, and was excited to see that I could ride my bike to Central Park on weekends, that would be so lovely! As I would love to see the park more. I think it would be good for my spirit. I also like the idea of being so close to so many museums, as I desperately want to visit more museums and art galleries. If I'm not going to college then I might as well do everything I can to broaden my mind in the meantime.
When I got home, I grabbed my candy (I'm eating my feelings at the moment, so you should see the effects soon enough) and watched Love and Other Disasters, which I had rented from the iStore. It was okay, very silly and plain. After that I had to go meet Boom and we discussed Space and my current complication, which will henceforth be known simply as, "The Complication".
When I got home I made myself far too much rice and beans that had been sitting in my cupboard for forever, and sat down at my mac to watch Another Cinderella Story, which was bad soft core tween porn in some parts and then Freaks, which is a new favourite of mine now.
I thought that I would be freaked out and scared by this movie, but the characters and actors were just so adorable and some were really talented and I just fell in love with it. I'll definitely purchase the copy of it I saw at Virgin the other day.
I talked to FL for a bit, which is always full of sadness and then somehow ended up here...4:43am on a Monday morning, blogging to nobody in particular.
Ah well, at least my friend Winter is here chatting to me. I'm going to say goodbye to her and goodnight to you.
Love
Caitlin
So begins my journey of being a 20 year old female Australian living in New York City, who desperately wants to create and is frustrated by the power the Online World has over her...
What will happen as she descends or ascends (depending on how optimistic you are) on her 3rd decade and the rip-roaring 20s that usually make or break any human being?
Will she learn to put her Online Life to better use?
Will she be a successful business woman, a struggling artist, or a sad Koala?
Will she be in love?
Will she survive the fantasy land that is New York City?
I found an eyelash on my keyboard, picked it up, blew it away and wished for nothing.
***
Chapter One: Apartments
After getting to bed at around 4 in the morning after a very long conversation with Fox Lampert, I woke up just as Golightly woke up to tell us that we all had an hour before we had to see the first apartment that we were looking at today.
It didn't take me long to get out of bed and soon enough we were waiting for the 6 train to waddle by, only to soon exit the station when Golightly realized we were only 7 streets and a few avenues away from the first house; brilliant.
On the way there Miss Pop and I disagreed on the art of spitting. For a girl she is remarkably graceful at it. I suppose I'm just jealous that I've never been able to muster the power to get a shot.
The first place was lovely, a bit out of the way when it comes to the subway, but it was bright and sunny and would probably do us fine. However, even though we could try to convert the "common space" into a third bedroom, I'm pretty darn sure that would just put a lot of tension and stress upon whoever has to sleep there. Partition or not, they still have no privacy and I can just see them getting really unhappy. I know I would, so I'm secretly hoping we find a three or four bedroom that works for us.
The next place was on the Upper East Side, so we jumped on the 4 and walked like we were on a mission to get there on time. I felt like I was on a bit of an adventure, because I was walking to streets I had never been before. It really is amazing how you could spend a lifetime in New York City and still never see everything, how disappointing.
The next place was nice, better than the first, but quite cramped, however we were pretty excited about it. I think at the moment its coming in at a Third. However, we really need to be out before the end of November, and they don't leave until the 7th.
After a quick pit-stop of Nerds for me and Redbull for Golightly, we hopped on the subway again all the way up to what I believe is called Spanish Harlem.
After walking the wrong way, we finally came towards it. At first we were all a bit worried, because its quite an exposed old building and looked like it was crumbling away, but on the inside it is absolutely gorgeous. Glazed brick and cherry red floors, big windows, two bathrooms, four bedrooms. I really hope Fail decides that he would like to live with us or that we can find one more person to join in on the future fun times.
Golightly wants to keep looking, whereas I'm all about settling, but she is right, of course. We have to make sure we ARE getting the best deal. I just really want at least ONE THING in my life to be finalized. Everything is hanging in space at the moment, and I mean absolutely everything. It's so hard to be happy, when the one thing that is delaying your happiness is Time and you can't do anything to speed it up...except keep on living. Who would have ever though that that sentence could sound so depressing?
Before you grab the nearest sharp object, I shall continue with my day.
After we had talked to the other lovely girls living in the apartment building we took the 6 home and I read the NFT Guide that I had given Golightly to see exactly what the possible Future PlaySchool House lies next to, and was excited to see that I could ride my bike to Central Park on weekends, that would be so lovely! As I would love to see the park more. I think it would be good for my spirit. I also like the idea of being so close to so many museums, as I desperately want to visit more museums and art galleries. If I'm not going to college then I might as well do everything I can to broaden my mind in the meantime.
When I got home, I grabbed my candy (I'm eating my feelings at the moment, so you should see the effects soon enough) and watched Love and Other Disasters, which I had rented from the iStore. It was okay, very silly and plain. After that I had to go meet Boom and we discussed Space and my current complication, which will henceforth be known simply as, "The Complication".
When I got home I made myself far too much rice and beans that had been sitting in my cupboard for forever, and sat down at my mac to watch Another Cinderella Story, which was bad soft core tween porn in some parts and then Freaks, which is a new favourite of mine now.
I thought that I would be freaked out and scared by this movie, but the characters and actors were just so adorable and some were really talented and I just fell in love with it. I'll definitely purchase the copy of it I saw at Virgin the other day.
I talked to FL for a bit, which is always full of sadness and then somehow ended up here...4:43am on a Monday morning, blogging to nobody in particular.
Ah well, at least my friend Winter is here chatting to me. I'm going to say goodbye to her and goodnight to you.
Love
Caitlin
Saturday 4 October 2008
What's Wrong With Me?
Everyone thinks I'm sad.
Well, the truth is...
I'm completely and utterly miserable, and yet content as can be, and yet I feel like I'm going crazy.
Love Caitlin
P.S: New York is doing me so much good... Obviously.
Well, the truth is...
I'm completely and utterly miserable, and yet content as can be, and yet I feel like I'm going crazy.
Love Caitlin
P.S: New York is doing me so much good... Obviously.
Friday 8 August 2008
I Am Australia
Hello Everyone!
I am back in Australia for a week for my brother James' 21st birthday. I almost didn't go, because I felt guilty flying home with such a fabulous ticket *shhh, business, shhh*, but I've been feeling quite down lately and the only idea I could come up with to explain my unhappiness is that I may be a weeny bit homesick.
I've never once sat and cried about missing friends or Australia, New York is too exciting to get too sad, but it has been over 6 months since I last saw my family and some of my friends, so I just had to come.
Now that I am here, I feel a bit anxious. I feel like I am living next to an hourglass and am drowning like Jasmine in the sand. ;P I don't feel like I have enough time here, and now that I get to see, once again, how truly beautiful and peaceful Australia is, I feel sad that I don't have more time to enjoy it.
It is hard living abroad, but I am looking forward to starting anew when I get back. I am now in an interesting financial situation and can no longer be frivolous with my money. My American friend and I seem to have come full circle with this. When I first met her, she helped me set up so many accounts and money was flying out everywhere because it could. Now, we have been canceling these and giving myself a limit and I realize that being in control of the flow of my money and the things that come and go with it, is easier than losing track and having these things pile up on me.
I have also bought a bike, it's beautiful. A 1967 Schwinn Coppertone Breeze Deluxe. It's a beautiful retro colour and I am going to feel very cool riding to work and through Central Park on it. I almost did the first time I rode it back to my apartment from the shop, except I didn't realize I had the gear on 3rd, which made starting to pedal through intersections very difficult...and wobbly, and very embarrassing. Thankfully, the drivers seemed surprisingly patient or maybe they were too busy laughing at me to drive over me. Hopefully, that's how it will always be.
The roads in New York City are terrible compared to those of Paris though. Paris may have many cobblestone paths, but they are still smoother than the bumpy tarmac that is constantly being ripped up and poured on and ripped up again in the city.
Before I went to home on the Sunday, I went to Virginia on Friday night. We drove there, so we didn't actually arrive until 6 in the morning on the Saturday. I was so tired, but the people there are so lovely. I adore and admire every single one of them and can't wait to get to know them better. I am so excited about the future that lies there...if it happens, I am always constantly in doubt that happy things like that will. We'll see, hey.
I have to get ready to go see my Gran. The poor dear, she is sick but battling it with all the power a Scottish woman can have, which is a lot. Today is brother's birthday. I am giving him a light saber, (all the boys on the plane were very jealous of it) and a Saruman Goblet and the Light of Galadriel. I am going to tell him this:
"By all means, dear Brother,
drink to the Darkness,
but don't forget to embrace
the Light."
Those of you have followed my whole journey on YouTube should be able to recognize what I am talking about.
Take care everyone there are far too many earthquakes, recessions and athletes about.
xoxo
Caitlin
I am back in Australia for a week for my brother James' 21st birthday. I almost didn't go, because I felt guilty flying home with such a fabulous ticket *shhh, business, shhh*, but I've been feeling quite down lately and the only idea I could come up with to explain my unhappiness is that I may be a weeny bit homesick.
I've never once sat and cried about missing friends or Australia, New York is too exciting to get too sad, but it has been over 6 months since I last saw my family and some of my friends, so I just had to come.
Now that I am here, I feel a bit anxious. I feel like I am living next to an hourglass and am drowning like Jasmine in the sand. ;P I don't feel like I have enough time here, and now that I get to see, once again, how truly beautiful and peaceful Australia is, I feel sad that I don't have more time to enjoy it.
It is hard living abroad, but I am looking forward to starting anew when I get back. I am now in an interesting financial situation and can no longer be frivolous with my money. My American friend and I seem to have come full circle with this. When I first met her, she helped me set up so many accounts and money was flying out everywhere because it could. Now, we have been canceling these and giving myself a limit and I realize that being in control of the flow of my money and the things that come and go with it, is easier than losing track and having these things pile up on me.
I have also bought a bike, it's beautiful. A 1967 Schwinn Coppertone Breeze Deluxe. It's a beautiful retro colour and I am going to feel very cool riding to work and through Central Park on it. I almost did the first time I rode it back to my apartment from the shop, except I didn't realize I had the gear on 3rd, which made starting to pedal through intersections very difficult...and wobbly, and very embarrassing. Thankfully, the drivers seemed surprisingly patient or maybe they were too busy laughing at me to drive over me. Hopefully, that's how it will always be.
The roads in New York City are terrible compared to those of Paris though. Paris may have many cobblestone paths, but they are still smoother than the bumpy tarmac that is constantly being ripped up and poured on and ripped up again in the city.
Before I went to home on the Sunday, I went to Virginia on Friday night. We drove there, so we didn't actually arrive until 6 in the morning on the Saturday. I was so tired, but the people there are so lovely. I adore and admire every single one of them and can't wait to get to know them better. I am so excited about the future that lies there...if it happens, I am always constantly in doubt that happy things like that will. We'll see, hey.
I have to get ready to go see my Gran. The poor dear, she is sick but battling it with all the power a Scottish woman can have, which is a lot. Today is brother's birthday. I am giving him a light saber, (all the boys on the plane were very jealous of it) and a Saruman Goblet and the Light of Galadriel. I am going to tell him this:
"By all means, dear Brother,
drink to the Darkness,
but don't forget to embrace
the Light."
Those of you have followed my whole journey on YouTube should be able to recognize what I am talking about.
Take care everyone there are far too many earthquakes, recessions and athletes about.
xoxo
Caitlin
Tuesday 22 July 2008
Live Show
EDIT: Missing Link Goes Here
And of course by Live Show we mean Caitlin staring at the screen trying to figure out how to talk about something interesting in her life.
Bad idea, man.
And of course by Live Show we mean Caitlin staring at the screen trying to figure out how to talk about something interesting in her life.
Bad idea, man.
Saturday 19 July 2008
Dr. Horrible Is Amazing
THIS IS SO AMAZING!
It has Felicia Day from http://www.youtube.com/user/watchtheguild and Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother and the awesome Nathan Fillion, who was in Firefly, Serenity and quite recently, Waitress.
It's fun to watch and I like the songs... mainly because Dr. Horrible sings, "I'll hand her the keys to a shiny brand new Australia!"
Kick ass.
xoxo
Caitlin
You can buy the series on iTunes!
It has Felicia Day from http://www.youtube.com/user/watchtheguild and Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother and the awesome Nathan Fillion, who was in Firefly, Serenity and quite recently, Waitress.
It's fun to watch and I like the songs... mainly because Dr. Horrible sings, "I'll hand her the keys to a shiny brand new Australia!"
Kick ass.
xoxo
Caitlin
You can buy the series on iTunes!
Thursday 10 July 2008
A Wet Hot Brooklyn Summer
I was at one the Summer Stage events that have been happening around New York and this one was in Brooklyn and it was a screening of Wet Hot American Summer.
The actors and creatives were there, including my favourite, talented actor: Paul Rudd.
I've admired his talents for a while now, always enjoying his unique choices and his skill for always ending up being the most enjoyable/quotable character in any film he is in.
I'm annoyed that I met him in person, as I've always secretly hoped that I would meet him on a creative/peer level, but unfortunately, and realistically, I am put in the "Fan" category, which sucks.
New York is awesome for making you realize how much you are truly not unique. Now don't start with me! I am just being realistic. Unfortunately, I have too many lovely optimistic readers!
Emily and I approached him, with many of the other girls, and I said,
"I'm sorry to be an annoying fan, but I'm from Australia so I thought I'd say hey..."
"Oh, no problem..."
"So, hey man, nice to meet you"
*shakes hand*
"Thank you.." or something like that, my mind stop working.
We posed for a picture...
Memory Full.
"Don't worry about it, mate."
And we just sat around and watched the guy for a moment. I always enjoy watching guys hands on girls backs. You always know when they are uncomfortable, unsure or just don't like the girl, because their hands form a fist on their back. When a guy is more comfortable with a girl, the palm is flat and often lower. I just love watching that sort of thing, it's like reading a book.
Afterward, we (being Emily and I, who is staying with me for a few weeks) went with Ryan and Tyler from Poykpac, who invited us to see the screening, to go to a couple of bars around Brooklyn.
We had a good time, walking for many blocks, visiting a Bowling alley and playing Foosball (and winning many times - yes!). We also snuck (this is apparently not a word!) in drinks while chatting about URL Life and dancing like jazz fiends.
I wish nights like that would happen more often. I enjoy the spontaneity of it all, the interaction and being social... For too long, I have embraced a lens and germ-ridden keys.
I'm off to a Yankees Vs. Tampa baseball game at the Yankee Stadium with Phil, Lindsay and Emily!
Love
Caitlin
The actors and creatives were there, including my favourite, talented actor: Paul Rudd.
I've admired his talents for a while now, always enjoying his unique choices and his skill for always ending up being the most enjoyable/quotable character in any film he is in.
I'm annoyed that I met him in person, as I've always secretly hoped that I would meet him on a creative/peer level, but unfortunately, and realistically, I am put in the "Fan" category, which sucks.
New York is awesome for making you realize how much you are truly not unique. Now don't start with me! I am just being realistic. Unfortunately, I have too many lovely optimistic readers!
Emily and I approached him, with many of the other girls, and I said,
"I'm sorry to be an annoying fan, but I'm from Australia so I thought I'd say hey..."
"Oh, no problem..."
"So, hey man, nice to meet you"
*shakes hand*
"Thank you.." or something like that, my mind stop working.
We posed for a picture...
Memory Full.
"Don't worry about it, mate."
And we just sat around and watched the guy for a moment. I always enjoy watching guys hands on girls backs. You always know when they are uncomfortable, unsure or just don't like the girl, because their hands form a fist on their back. When a guy is more comfortable with a girl, the palm is flat and often lower. I just love watching that sort of thing, it's like reading a book.
Afterward, we (being Emily and I, who is staying with me for a few weeks) went with Ryan and Tyler from Poykpac, who invited us to see the screening, to go to a couple of bars around Brooklyn.
We had a good time, walking for many blocks, visiting a Bowling alley and playing Foosball (and winning many times - yes!). We also snuck (this is apparently not a word!) in drinks while chatting about URL Life and dancing like jazz fiends.
I wish nights like that would happen more often. I enjoy the spontaneity of it all, the interaction and being social... For too long, I have embraced a lens and germ-ridden keys.
I'm off to a Yankees Vs. Tampa baseball game at the Yankee Stadium with Phil, Lindsay and Emily!
Love
Caitlin
Saturday 14 June 2008
I Am A Bit Of A Bitch Now
...and I'm sorry. From now on, I will try to be involved with the people in the community and help!
Why?
Because of this one young man right here... EDIT: He posted a video about not responding to him or something inane.
Talk about a hilarious way to make me feel guilty and improve myself :D
Thanks mate, t'was awesome!
Cheers
Caitlin
Why?
Because of this one young man right here... EDIT: He posted a video about not responding to him or something inane.
Talk about a hilarious way to make me feel guilty and improve myself :D
Thanks mate, t'was awesome!
Cheers
Caitlin
Lost in a Hotel
I was in Canada the other day for a few million meetings. It was really stressful, but the "suits" I was traveling with were awesome fun and sliding around Toronto in a stretch Limo is never a bad thing. It was very interesting for me to step up and bring on the Sales Man version of Caitlin. Hopefully I did a good job. We'll see...
I stayed at the Sheraton, which is a lovely hotel chain and decided to dance around my room to Regina Spektor's "Hotel Song". I had the idea when it began to play on my way to the Newark, NJ Airport. I love it when the ipod randomly plays tunes that fit your life at that very moment so well.
I also owe credit to Brooke for teaching me how to use the Time Lapse feature on my Mac Book Pro. She's a smart cookie...or maybe just observant ;)
When I look at this video it reminds me a little of Mememolly's random mash-up videos to her favourite music, minus the whole whimsical, mystical quality that Molly gives it. Whereas mine turn into a very silly thing. I guess that's what I do best though...and have done my whole life. I emulate people. I emulate accents, style, laughs without even knowing it.
"Lesser men trying to emulate his greatness..."
I blame the Simpsons. I watched the Simpsons a lot while growing up and now find that I don't seem to have much of a personality (apart from being a snooty bitch), I just seem to reflect other peoples personalities. I fit myself around a person to match them the best. I'm not saying I blatantly copy anyone, I never do that, I just to make everyone feel comfortable.
I also blame fashion. I find that I can only dress in Characters. For instance, yesterday during the Toronto Meetings, I was dressed as Business Lady: I was wearing a sleek blue satin dress with high silver heels and now today,
as if in rebellion to being so feminine all day yesterday, I am wearing jeans, a Star Wars shirt and have wet, messy hair, glasses, very little makeup and a whole bunch of wooden beads and a Darfur bracelet...put it all together and add my heavy laptop bag and I either look a young NYU student or an Environmental Lesbian...
Or just a loser.
Either way, I enjoy being able to play dress up every day. Sure, I have no personal style, but at least I can pretend to be a different person every day...because let's face it, if I had to live with myself every day... I'd either be extremely bored or really, really angry.
What kind of person are you? Do you have a personality? Do you find it easy to describe yourself? Do you fit into a stereotype on purpose, just to make it easier for yourself? Let me know... I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling hollow, and liking it.
xoxo
Caitlin
Don't talk about me either. I love and appreciate all your support. But this is about you. I don't need to be told nice things, I still love myself very much : )
I call this Cab Legs.
I stayed at the Sheraton, which is a lovely hotel chain and decided to dance around my room to Regina Spektor's "Hotel Song". I had the idea when it began to play on my way to the Newark, NJ Airport. I love it when the ipod randomly plays tunes that fit your life at that very moment so well.
I also owe credit to Brooke for teaching me how to use the Time Lapse feature on my Mac Book Pro. She's a smart cookie...or maybe just observant ;)
When I look at this video it reminds me a little of Mememolly's random mash-up videos to her favourite music, minus the whole whimsical, mystical quality that Molly gives it. Whereas mine turn into a very silly thing. I guess that's what I do best though...and have done my whole life. I emulate people. I emulate accents, style, laughs without even knowing it.
"Lesser men trying to emulate his greatness..."
I blame the Simpsons. I watched the Simpsons a lot while growing up and now find that I don't seem to have much of a personality (apart from being a snooty bitch), I just seem to reflect other peoples personalities. I fit myself around a person to match them the best. I'm not saying I blatantly copy anyone, I never do that, I just to make everyone feel comfortable.
I also blame fashion. I find that I can only dress in Characters. For instance, yesterday during the Toronto Meetings, I was dressed as Business Lady: I was wearing a sleek blue satin dress with high silver heels and now today,
as if in rebellion to being so feminine all day yesterday, I am wearing jeans, a Star Wars shirt and have wet, messy hair, glasses, very little makeup and a whole bunch of wooden beads and a Darfur bracelet...put it all together and add my heavy laptop bag and I either look a young NYU student or an Environmental Lesbian...
Or just a loser.
Either way, I enjoy being able to play dress up every day. Sure, I have no personal style, but at least I can pretend to be a different person every day...because let's face it, if I had to live with myself every day... I'd either be extremely bored or really, really angry.
What kind of person are you? Do you have a personality? Do you find it easy to describe yourself? Do you fit into a stereotype on purpose, just to make it easier for yourself? Let me know... I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling hollow, and liking it.
xoxo
Caitlin
Don't talk about me either. I love and appreciate all your support. But this is about you. I don't need to be told nice things, I still love myself very much : )
I call this Cab Legs.
Tuesday 10 June 2008
The Mac Team Has Great Timing
After reading through Macworld's updates on what was "going down" over at the WWDC, I was curious about the MobileMe service as it mentions that .Mac users get automatically upgraded.
So I log in to my .Mac account just go ahead and do some work, and what do I see, but this little lovely:
For some reason it made me very, very happy.
Those Macinites certainly have great timing.
JOY!
xoxo
Caitlin
So I log in to my .Mac account just go ahead and do some work, and what do I see, but this little lovely:
For some reason it made me very, very happy.
Those Macinites certainly have great timing.
JOY!
xoxo
Caitlin
This Makes Me Sick
Watch more videos at KentuckyFriedCruelty.com.
I'm not going to go as far as becoming a vegetarian, but I will definitely boycott ANY KFC stores. I've been trying to never set foot in any fast-food chains, and constantly keeping updated about Animal Cruelty, just broadens the distance between me and those Corporate Devils.
What's more, is that, last time I visited a KFC (in America), the burger I ordered was disgusting. The bun was rock hard and the "chicken" felt like it had been dropped on the floor or something. I didn't eat the bun. And I only had one tiny bite of the chicken before turning to my friend and whispering,
"I'm done."
And I am. I'm done.
Bye bye Fast-Food.
xoxo
Caitlin
I'm not going to go as far as becoming a vegetarian, but I will definitely boycott ANY KFC stores. I've been trying to never set foot in any fast-food chains, and constantly keeping updated about Animal Cruelty, just broadens the distance between me and those Corporate Devils.
What's more, is that, last time I visited a KFC (in America), the burger I ordered was disgusting. The bun was rock hard and the "chicken" felt like it had been dropped on the floor or something. I didn't eat the bun. And I only had one tiny bite of the chicken before turning to my friend and whispering,
"I'm done."
And I am. I'm done.
Bye bye Fast-Food.
xoxo
Caitlin
Thursday 5 June 2008
So This Is What Happened To BradOFail
Brad just sent this to me...
I love it. Especially because I am noticing more and more the extreme cases of Internet Slouch that are going around...
Hunchback of Notre Net?
Ha ha... Fail... I'm so lame!
I love it. Especially because I am noticing more and more the extreme cases of Internet Slouch that are going around...
Hunchback of Notre Net?
Ha ha... Fail... I'm so lame!
I'll Give You Something To Plurk About
Well, "Sarah Meyers" mentioned it.
Sam Proof brought me to it.
I have now discovered...
Plurk.
Another useless time wasting site, to aid the self-branders, the self-obsessed (us) and another thing to add to the list of useless websites we are "addicted" to.
I can't help but feel guilty about how Twitter might feel about this... I feel like I'm betraying them or something, but I believe that Twitter's simplicity will be the key to it's survival...and honestly, I don't like FaceBook Style games... Trying to get "Karma" purely just to get a weird looking dead animal on my page and a title for my plurkiness, just frustrates me.
Give it to me straight, boys. Don't have time to play.
Still, check it out... Remember, URLife = Get Connected.
xoxo
Caitlin
Sam Proof brought me to it.
I have now discovered...
Plurk.
Another useless time wasting site, to aid the self-branders, the self-obsessed (us) and another thing to add to the list of useless websites we are "addicted" to.
I can't help but feel guilty about how Twitter might feel about this... I feel like I'm betraying them or something, but I believe that Twitter's simplicity will be the key to it's survival...and honestly, I don't like FaceBook Style games... Trying to get "Karma" purely just to get a weird looking dead animal on my page and a title for my plurkiness, just frustrates me.
Give it to me straight, boys. Don't have time to play.
Still, check it out... Remember, URLife = Get Connected.
xoxo
Caitlin
Wednesday 4 June 2008
New YouTube Feature: Annotations
Did you notice YouTube's new feature, Annotations, tonight?I suppose after the big news about Flickr adding video that they had to create some kind of counter-attack, and I have to say, nicely done, YouTube.
The feature works well, I didn't encounter any errors. It's extremely simple and easy to use, but mainly appropriate to either translate for your viewers or to use in videos that are shot steady...you know, with a tripod. A steady shot...still cam...steady cam... can't think of the appropriate word at the moment.
I'm excited. Now I wont have to post so comments explaining my silly behaviour. I can do it all there as you follow along...
And you heard it from me first, it would make a great video idea to actually integrate the annotations in a video... as in: "So, I got this comment from BlaBla today *BAM, it's on the screen... or you could get covered in annotations or use them for lyrics etc..." So, If you start seeing that around, well, you know that I at least thought of doing that, but was too lazy ; )
Good work, YouTube Team!
xoxo
Caitlin
Oh and thanks to all of those who chatted with me on my YouTube Stream and played Trivia and watched the strange movies, you guys are great!
YouStream, IStream, We All Stream For... YouTube
Well, even though when I think of YouTube's Stream-y thing called YouTube Stream or YouStream or whatever, I think of peeing into a toilet... I still created one.
Maybe it has something to do with how Shit I am..
Did you get it?
Toilet Humour, anyone?
No...
Bugger off.
http://youtube.com/stream?u=TheHill88&i=0
Feel free to add videos you think I should see or videos of your own that you would like people to see... Nobody knows it exists so I don't know how many people will actually use it, but still, let's fill the space with more waste, ay?
Have fun!
I'm going home now...even though work will follow me there...
xoxo
Caitlin
Maybe it has something to do with how Shit I am..
Did you get it?
Toilet Humour, anyone?
No...
Bugger off.
http://youtube.com/stream?u=TheHill88&i=0
Feel free to add videos you think I should see or videos of your own that you would like people to see... Nobody knows it exists so I don't know how many people will actually use it, but still, let's fill the space with more waste, ay?
Have fun!
I'm going home now...even though work will follow me there...
xoxo
Caitlin
Monday 2 June 2008
The Weekly Review
I found myself being sucked into the world of Julia Allison again. I don't know what it is about that woman, but when I do find myself on her page, which is a very rare occurrence, I hear this little voice in my head going,
"Just one page more... You've read 7 pages, only 140 to go..."
It's absolutely crazy. It's a mixture of intrigue at watching the success of someone who blogs and seeing them do the little things that you would like to do or having qualities that you would like to have, like getting invited to the Sex and the City premiere or being extremely attractive and yet able to talk to many high-profile intellectuals. I find that she is almost like a myth, and maybe that is what keeps me reading. Here is this woman, who is extremely open about her life even though she claims a lot of it is kept hidden, and I'm sure it is, but she is every woman that many writers like Candace Bushnell write about. The star of their own romantic-fiction novel...except that it reads for too long.
When I was finally able to slide my eyeballs back into focus and book my RENT tickets and return to work, I was inspired to read more blogs and fondly thought of all the things I wanted to do with this little blog right here.
Ah, so many thoughts, my dear readers... I feel like one day, I'll be on my death bed, and all I will have to say about my life is,
"Ah, I wanted to do so many things..."
Ugh, depressing.
Which is completely unjustified because for a pretty ordinary, greasy 19 year old Mac Whore, I am doing a lot of things. I help run a company, I am now in the same industry as all those women I admired back when I lived on the Gold Coast, I am running behind on preparation for future visual things, and I'm living in New York City.
Oh, and I decided to go to France last weekend, because Brooke and I thought it would be a good idea...
CRAZY!
So, I have nothing to complain about.
This week on the Internet, I found Live Video even more intriguing due to hanging out with Brooke for two weeks, it's definitely an interesting way to spend an evening. I am sorry for missing my show, but work and IRLife comes before URLife.
I haven't been very up to date with the goings on and when I do have time to explore I find myself watching Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen in Two of a Kind, the TV show that made me start writing scripts... sad, isn't it? Not exactly the right show to be inspired to start writing scripts for... maybe it was because they made it look so damn easy because it had that weird Disney formula where it's okay, but not necessarily good.
Then I watched some of their terrible movies and couldn't make it all the way through.
I saw Sex and the City: THE MOVIE with Brooke before she left to go back to Boston, and we were at the very front because there were hardly any seats left...and it was a really great movie experience! I loved it! All the ladies there, dressed up in their respective characters while still maintaining that they are just being themselves...it added a touch of class to the theatre that has long been forgotten. It was refreshing. I wish more movies wrapped in Labels came out, because it certainly brings out the fancy people. Everyone cheered and clapped and they obviously knew the characters, so it was great to be in a room of people who got it. If I was the only one laughing...it would be weird.
Brooke and I had fun afterwards, because we felt that the experience was very much like how Star Wars was...and I think I can say this, because I went to the midnight session of the last movie, with all the other weirdos...
"Just one page more... You've read 7 pages, only 140 to go..."
It's absolutely crazy. It's a mixture of intrigue at watching the success of someone who blogs and seeing them do the little things that you would like to do or having qualities that you would like to have, like getting invited to the Sex and the City premiere or being extremely attractive and yet able to talk to many high-profile intellectuals. I find that she is almost like a myth, and maybe that is what keeps me reading. Here is this woman, who is extremely open about her life even though she claims a lot of it is kept hidden, and I'm sure it is, but she is every woman that many writers like Candace Bushnell write about. The star of their own romantic-fiction novel...except that it reads for too long.
When I was finally able to slide my eyeballs back into focus and book my RENT tickets and return to work, I was inspired to read more blogs and fondly thought of all the things I wanted to do with this little blog right here.
Ah, so many thoughts, my dear readers... I feel like one day, I'll be on my death bed, and all I will have to say about my life is,
"Ah, I wanted to do so many things..."
Ugh, depressing.
Which is completely unjustified because for a pretty ordinary, greasy 19 year old Mac Whore, I am doing a lot of things. I help run a company, I am now in the same industry as all those women I admired back when I lived on the Gold Coast, I am running behind on preparation for future visual things, and I'm living in New York City.
Oh, and I decided to go to France last weekend, because Brooke and I thought it would be a good idea...
CRAZY!
So, I have nothing to complain about.
This week on the Internet, I found Live Video even more intriguing due to hanging out with Brooke for two weeks, it's definitely an interesting way to spend an evening. I am sorry for missing my show, but work and IRLife comes before URLife.
I haven't been very up to date with the goings on and when I do have time to explore I find myself watching Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen in Two of a Kind, the TV show that made me start writing scripts... sad, isn't it? Not exactly the right show to be inspired to start writing scripts for... maybe it was because they made it look so damn easy because it had that weird Disney formula where it's okay, but not necessarily good.
Then I watched some of their terrible movies and couldn't make it all the way through.
I saw Sex and the City: THE MOVIE with Brooke before she left to go back to Boston, and we were at the very front because there were hardly any seats left...and it was a really great movie experience! I loved it! All the ladies there, dressed up in their respective characters while still maintaining that they are just being themselves...it added a touch of class to the theatre that has long been forgotten. It was refreshing. I wish more movies wrapped in Labels came out, because it certainly brings out the fancy people. Everyone cheered and clapped and they obviously knew the characters, so it was great to be in a room of people who got it. If I was the only one laughing...it would be weird.
Brooke and I had fun afterwards, because we felt that the experience was very much like how Star Wars was...and I think I can say this, because I went to the midnight session of the last movie, with all the other weirdos...
I say this because I remember hearing stories and seeing movies and tv shows that referenced the pop culture experience of Stars Wars Episode 5, where Darth Vader reveals his big secret, and how some people ruined it and everyone got angry...? Well, I was in the toilet and these two girls were talking about it and I was like, "Hey! Don't talk about it! Damn, this is just like Star Wars!"
So, we decided to do something that I know I loathe, so I'm sure I have bad karma for it, but we decided to walk past people and go...
Oh...IS NOW A GOOD TIME TO SAY SPOILER AWARD IN CASE YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT? YES? WELL, THEN... ***SPOILER ALERT***
"Oh my god, I still can't believe that Big died! I mean, how could Big die!?"
Then we giggled like school girls at our own immaturity, but it was fun.
I miss Brooke, she is a wild fire, but I do miss the conversation.
Oh and before I go, I'll leave with you with something that makes me want to become a Viral Video Star... But what would one have to do?
So, we decided to do something that I know I loathe, so I'm sure I have bad karma for it, but we decided to walk past people and go...
Oh...IS NOW A GOOD TIME TO SAY SPOILER AWARD IN CASE YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT? YES? WELL, THEN... ***SPOILER ALERT***
"Oh my god, I still can't believe that Big died! I mean, how could Big die!?"
Then we giggled like school girls at our own immaturity, but it was fun.
I miss Brooke, she is a wild fire, but I do miss the conversation.
Oh and before I go, I'll leave with you with something that makes me want to become a Viral Video Star... But what would one have to do?
Oh, and who is the girl with the socks? Is she someone that I missed? Or is she meant to be Brookers? I have seen Brooke do the long stripey sock thing many, many times!
Please, let me know...
Ahh, Michael Jackson's "Black or White" has come on, please excuse me, I must dance!
Cheers
Caitlin xox
P.S: CONGRATULATIONS TO PM RUDD FOR KEEPING HIS PROMISE AND GETTING OUR TROOPS HOME! I'M SO GLAD I VOTED FOR YOU, SIR!
Please, let me know...
Ahh, Michael Jackson's "Black or White" has come on, please excuse me, I must dance!
Cheers
Caitlin xox
P.S: CONGRATULATIONS TO PM RUDD FOR KEEPING HIS PROMISE AND GETTING OUR TROOPS HOME! I'M SO GLAD I VOTED FOR YOU, SIR!
More Paris Pictures...or just one more...
Thursday 22 May 2008
My First Live Show
Well, that was an interesting experience. It was strange how easy it was just to sit down and talk, especially when you start telling a story.
I hope it wasn't too boring or anything like that. Some people really dance around and show off their skills...I don't know what I would do to be different or if I should even try or if I should even do it again.
It was scary when the Moderator came in and asked me my age...
Please tell me what you would like to watch...
I'll do another show at the same time next week!
Cheers
Caitlin xox
Sunday 11 May 2008
It Breaks My Brain
LOOK AT THE SIMILARITIES!!!
LOOK!
CAN YOU SEE THEM!!!
IT'S BREAKING MY BRAIN!
THESE PEOPLE ARE ALMOST THE SAME PERSON!
I'M SO CONFUSED!
SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THE RABID MONKEY!!!
But seriously, what the hell happened here. The Fred channel has been around for a while, but all his latest videos seem to have been re-uploaded lately... and they all have over 100 thousand hits, whereas Eric's channel has a very nice amount of hits for a growing chap.
They are both splendid, but I've "known" Eric for longer. Is it possible that they are the same person, yet different... or that they just both happen to have the same sort of character... That's awesome in one way because it's a great character and weird in another way because...well...it just is.
Maybe because it's 6am and I haven't slept yet.
Good morning. ZZzzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz
xox
Caitlin
LOOK!
CAN YOU SEE THEM!!!
IT'S BREAKING MY BRAIN!
THESE PEOPLE ARE ALMOST THE SAME PERSON!
I'M SO CONFUSED!
SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THE RABID MONKEY!!!
But seriously, what the hell happened here. The Fred channel has been around for a while, but all his latest videos seem to have been re-uploaded lately... and they all have over 100 thousand hits, whereas Eric's channel has a very nice amount of hits for a growing chap.
They are both splendid, but I've "known" Eric for longer. Is it possible that they are the same person, yet different... or that they just both happen to have the same sort of character... That's awesome in one way because it's a great character and weird in another way because...well...it just is.
Maybe because it's 6am and I haven't slept yet.
Good morning. ZZzzzzZZZzzzzZZZzzzz
xox
Caitlin
"I Hate How Caitlin Is In F!@#$%^ Everything"
This person says this like it's a bad thing.
I hope I don't annoy you all too much by appearing in videos.
I hardly ever do "collabs" and yet, when I do, people complain, which
is obviously not a good sign for me and bad for the person having me in
their videos.
I wonder how one girl can attract so much hate, and if not hate, obvious annoyance from the eyeballs.
Curious.
What can I do to make you happy?
I hope I don't annoy you all too much by appearing in videos.
I hardly ever do "collabs" and yet, when I do, people complain, which
is obviously not a good sign for me and bad for the person having me in
their videos.
I wonder how one girl can attract so much hate, and if not hate, obvious annoyance from the eyeballs.
Curious.
What can I do to make you happy?
So Hugh of HughsNews fame left for Los Angeles last night, so some members of Poykpac (in particular: Jen, Ryan, Taige and Tyler) took him to see Iron Man, which wasn't as amazing as some people said it was. Then Jen and Taige left and we all went to Cosi, where they have very nice tuna sandwiches.
After spending a while in the rain, we finally managed to hail a cab and get to my place. We then downed some beers, played Rock Band and as always, molested my beautiful iMac.
Towards the end of the night, they started to play this drinking game and Tyler and I both took turns filming the fun. Much more was filmed, but Hugh promises me that THAT footage will never see the light of day *sad face*
After we said our goodbyes to Hugh and he stumbled on home, Ryan and Tyler hung around... I immediately felt awkward, because I don't feel particularly interesting...
Ryan ended up falling asleep on my bean bag and after trying to freak him out with band-aids and stuffed animals, Tyler and I fell asleep on the floor too.
I woke up, possibly half an hour later, and got them blankets and pillows and then went to bed.
Let's just say that after Breakfast and forcing them to watch the awkwardness that is Across the Universe and then kicking them out, I slept for a LLLOOONNNGGG time!
Weekends are fun.
; )
After spending a while in the rain, we finally managed to hail a cab and get to my place. We then downed some beers, played Rock Band and as always, molested my beautiful iMac.
Towards the end of the night, they started to play this drinking game and Tyler and I both took turns filming the fun. Much more was filmed, but Hugh promises me that THAT footage will never see the light of day *sad face*
After we said our goodbyes to Hugh and he stumbled on home, Ryan and Tyler hung around... I immediately felt awkward, because I don't feel particularly interesting...
Ryan ended up falling asleep on my bean bag and after trying to freak him out with band-aids and stuffed animals, Tyler and I fell asleep on the floor too.
I woke up, possibly half an hour later, and got them blankets and pillows and then went to bed.
Let's just say that after Breakfast and forcing them to watch the awkwardness that is Across the Universe and then kicking them out, I slept for a LLLOOONNNGGG time!
Weekends are fun.
; )
Friday 9 May 2008
Oooh, Kissing Boys Is Fun
What do you think? Tell me...
I had so much fun at this shoot. It really was like my first every Spring Break. We were staying in the most beautiful mansion ever, somewhere in Jersey and I was surrounded by some great guys and a loverly lassie and it was sooo much fun!
I turned down a holiday to Miami for it, and it was totally worth it. I got a little smashed, embraced my underwear for the first time ever (meaning, I like to cover up, not show it off..USUALLY) and really got into steamy heat in the sauna.
I will post some footage of the behind the scenes soon!
You may also have noticed that a whole bunch of Internet Stars were having fun in New York City, and everyone is asking why... let's just say, that's it's all down to this person typing away right here... no, not you...me. It's a delightful opportunity...and one day I may ask you to take part!
xoxo
Caitlin
I will start blogging and vlogging my life here soon! Yes, that's right! I live in NYC... I doubt that it comes as a surprise anymore...
I turned down a holiday to Miami for it, and it was totally worth it. I got a little smashed, embraced my underwear for the first time ever (meaning, I like to cover up, not show it off..USUALLY) and really got into steamy heat in the sauna.
I will post some footage of the behind the scenes soon!
You may also have noticed that a whole bunch of Internet Stars were having fun in New York City, and everyone is asking why... let's just say, that's it's all down to this person typing away right here... no, not you...me. It's a delightful opportunity...and one day I may ask you to take part!
xoxo
Caitlin
I will start blogging and vlogging my life here soon! Yes, that's right! I live in NYC... I doubt that it comes as a surprise anymore...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)